I Give Up

Chapter 7

Irina's POV:

  I couldn't really sleep that night, every time he would cough, sneeze, even turn to the other side,I would get up immediately and check how he is. I would check if he is awake,if he is not then, I would check if he is uncomfortable,if he is not then, I would check if he is properly tucked in,if he is then, I would check if his temperature has gone down,if it has then,i would repeat that cycle. Just getting a little sleep in between the steps in the cycle till morning.
  Once the sun was up,I felt completely exhausted and didn't notice when I had curled up on his bed and had fallen asleep, with my head on his arm and my face barely an inch away from his.

Vladimir's POV:

   "You let me go! How could you let me go?! I was young,I didn't know any better, but you.....you could have stopped me,yet you let me go!" I heard her cry and blames
    "Please, please, come save me, please,I need help, please." Her desperate pleas but no matter how hard I tried I didn't get there in time.
Blood. More blood. More blood again. All I could see was blood. Her blood. I was drowning in it, but no one came to my rescue. Who would? The only person who would,isn't here anymore,because of me. Because of my negligence. Because of how naive and open-minded I was,I lost her. I fucking lost her. I'm never ever in my whole fucked up life going to see her again. And it's all my fault.
   "That's why you need to have vengeance for her,You Bastard! Fucking vengeance!" But can I? Can I really do it?
    "You could, Vladimir, you could have vengeance for her. But you've grown soft." No,no,I can do it. I shook my head.
     "First, you let me walk to my doom, now you won't do anything about it?" She sobbed uncontrollably. No, what are you saying? I'm thinking of something.
     "What's there to think about? Get the truth out of Mr. Volkov's fucking daughter." She shouted as tears streamed down her cheeks. I felt completely helpless,I wanted to do just that. But it would mean putting her health at risk and that's why I couldn't do it. It's never been a problem for me. Never,not until now.
    I didn't want to wake up,yes,Seeing her body scattered all over the road while i drowned in her own blood was torture and even though i knew i deserved it,I still wished it would stop. But waking would mean me not seeing her anymore. It would mean me living but not living.
    "It's okay, Vladimir. I can't say that things will get better because there might never but that's still fine. All you have to do is keep your chin up and never give up, what you want will happen eventually." I can't explain why but these words just brought to me more comfort than I have received in a very long time.
   I knew who said them and oddly enough it made my heart swell in joy. What is this? Why does it feel as though I am happy? Am I? I can not be happy. Why would I be? I haven't still fulfilled the one task at hand. There's no way I'm happy.
   But I knew, somehow,in a way,those words were the reason I had decided to wake up. Not because I no longer wanted to see her, but because I had suddenly felt somehow hopeful again.
  The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the last person I was expecting to see,yet she was the only person I wanted to see. She looked exhausted even as she was sleeping. There were little dark circles and bags under her eyes,if her face wasn't so close to me,I wouldn't have noticed.
  She slept so soundly, barely breathing and not moving at all. After a while, I started to feel the weight of her head on my arm. But I didn't want to remove her head neither did I want to remove my arm. I knew if I did,she would wake up and I could tell she needed more sleep. I don't know why I couldn't bare to disturb her slumber, but what I did know is that,if I do,I would hurt me. So I plan to remain in this position till she awakens
  After a few hours,she was still asleep on my arm. I just watched her. It may sound creepy but doing this actually makes me forget about all my troubles,all my guilt. It basically erases every negative thought and feeling I have in me, leaving nothing but peace,silence and her.
   "I'm coming in, Girl." I heard Nina say before entering my room.
   "Oh My Goodness, I'm so sorry, Master." She screamed and turned around.
   "Huh, what's going on?" She woke up and looked at me then at where her head is.
   "What?!" She screamed also and fell off the bed with a loud thud, making me want to check and see if she's alright.
   "I....I.... can explain." She stood up almost immediately. "I....I...was....I was just making sure you're okay.....I..,I didn't know when I fell asleep....on your arm....so close to your lips." She covered her mouth immediately as she said that last part.
   "I'm so very sorry, Master,I didn't mean to barge into your room without your permission. Please, please, have mercy." Nina knelt down and still didn't face me.
   I looked at her,whose eyes were on Nina before she looked back at me. Her eyes were begging me to spare Nina and probably her as well but she didn't say a word.
   "Do what you came here to do." I finally said after a long time of pin drop silence.
   "Thank you so much, Master." She walked up to me immediately and was about touching my hand but stopped abruptly. She looked at me then at Mr. Volkov's daughter then back at me.
  "Oh,got it." She walked towards my side of the bed slowly.
  "May....may I touch you?" I nearly laughed at her request. Yes,I despised being touched since..... But the way she asked, with so much innocency and confusion. It was just a pleasant sight.
  I didn't answer her question, instead I pulled out my hand and held hers. She looked surprised at first,then I saw her face slowly heat up. On seeing that,I fought with myself so hard not to smile at her.
  Nina was quick with whatever she was doing to me. She also advised me on some things but I was paying no attention to her. My body and mind was only on her. The way she winced each time Nina would inject me with whatever liquid. The she payed close attention to everything Nina was doing and would always tell her to be gentle and careful. I don't think she really knew what she was doing or saying neither do I. I don't know why I'm staring at her yet I can't look away. It's as though she has bewitched me with her sudden care and interest.
  "I'm sorry about earlier." She looked down and played with her hair. I just looked at her. I was tongue tied,I couldn't tell her that I didn't mind her previous position on the bed and I also can't believe that I actually didn't mind her previous position on the bed.
   "I'm going to take your silence as a "I may be mad but you're off the hook, this time." Am I?" I didn't know what came over me, but I nodded at her question.
   "Thank goodness." She sighed. "I'll be right back with your breakfast, don't move a muscle." She ordered while looking at me sternly before turning for the door.
   "What I meant to say is, Please wait for me patiently,Master and there's no need to stress yourself." She rephrased and shot me a sheepish smile before exiting the room.
   Today was really something. She didn't let me do anything at all. From her feeding my meals to her helping me turn the page on my newspaper. Usually I don't eat,not because I couldn't or I can't,I just chose not to. But because of her unyielding determination to care for me,I decided not to make things too difficult for her.She ensured that the only time I moved was when I was sleeping,well pretending to. I could have stopped her,Hell,I could have killed her. But I didn't,I wanted it. I wanted her. The unwavering attention I got from her was refreshing that I didn't tell her to stop.
   "Master,I didn't want to disturb your sleep, but your phone keeps ringing." She tapped on my shoulder. Why doesn't her touch affect me in any negative way? Instead it makes me feel...... I just can't put it into words. I took the phone from her and answered the call.
  "Master, forgive me for disturbing you,Mrs. Petrov ordered that I inform you of her proposed visit."
  "When is that?"
  "In the next three hours."
   "Okay." I ended the call.
   "Get ready, we're going to the airport."