The Compendium

Time-lapse

Do you want to live because you are afraid to die?

"I want to live because I'm dying."

She said it calmly like the gentle wind caressing my cheeks. Then, with the small amount of energy she gained from sitting down, she ran around me, again. Laughing in that saccharine sweet melody I have never grown tired of after years of being with her.

The light from the setting sun bounced against her pale skin, making her glow like an ethereal being. Sand stuck to her ankles, wet from the lapping waves of the seashore. Her hair flew behind her in smooth waves and her eyes shined so bright, so dazzling like the stars scattered through the wide nightsky at night.

I don't want this moment to end.

"You're falling in love again." She grinned at me and I wagged my head because—yes, she is right.

I am falling in love again. It hurts.

"Come here dumbass. I want a hug and a kiss." I rolled my eyes but then, opened my arms widely. An invitation that she comes home to me in the form of my embrace.

"Sure." She chuckled and dropped herself into my waiting arms. "I love you."

The smell of sweet strawberries wafted my nose as her hair tickled the skin of my neck. My love.

"I love you more."

I couldn't think of anything else but the impending death awaiting her just outside our doorstep. If only I could negotiate with Death and pay him to leave my love alone, I would give everything to stop this harsh fate. If I could only stop time...

If only.

"Stop thinking. I'm here now. Now—is what's important. Don't think of tomorrow, or the next day, or next week, or next month. Stay here with me."

'Stay here with me', is also what I wish for. But I know what she meant to say: 'I might not be there with you anymore.' My arms tightened around her.

How could life be this cruel?

Some people out there waste their lives on drugs. Some of them don't even want to live in the first place. And some, just don't value how long they have to enjoy the world, its beauties and imperfections. While some, wishes they could have more time to celebrate being alive.

"Someday, in some other universe, I'll find you again." She whispered as she intertwined our hands together. "We'd find each other in every fabric of space-time, in every universe, and we'd spend no matter how short or long the time we were given, together." I nodded, crying against her hair. My heart is breaking into pieces.

This here—is a memory I'd cherish.

"I'm not afraid to die. In fact, I'm embracing it like the pillow you gave me during my last birthday. I'm living every second I have because that's just how long I might live. Tomorrow and the next day is uncertain. Life is uncertain. We don't have control of what might happen in the future. Who knows—," she looked up to me and planted a kiss against my lips and then the ring in my finger, identical to the one she is wearing."—I might even live longer if you give me many more kisses. Like from head to toe. Care to remind me how much you adore me?"

"Every second I have." ... left.

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I stared ahead of me, nostalgic. Sitting in the same place, watching the waves—alone. I lifted the same hand she kissed before she died and stared at the ring in melancholy. There were two of them now in there—intertwined like our hands.

Mine and hers.

Memories. How happy and painful to remember them. Sometimes, I don't know if it is some sort of a curse or a gift.

Perhaps, both.

I stood up and watched the waves for a few more seconds. Then, I turned around to leave.

We'll see each other again.

Soon. #

© astaire_grey

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(Credits to the owner of the photo)