let me in your ocean - sandray

2.

Mew seems to always have a spaced out look in his eyes these days, like he's mentally not here, like he's not sitting next to Ray, knees bumping and hands on each other's thighs.

"I wanna try it," he had said to him a few minutes ago, pointing to the tiny ziplock, two lines of coke on the table they are sitting in front of. He giggles to himself once it hits and Ray wraps his arm around his shoulders, not doing any better at holding himself together.

He can't blame Mew for zoning out and thinking about something else when he is doing the same damn thing. His mind keeps straying away to one person.

• 🌊˖°🐋🐚 •

They stumble down the stairs, Mew walking ahead of him, head tilted back slightly and the bright lights of the party shining on the slope of his neck. He's got a choker on, it's pretty against his neck. Two months ago, Ray would have wanted to mark the expanse, drag his front teeth over the smooth skin, to have Mew writhing under him, to replace the choker with his hand as they kissed.

He doesn't feel like that anymore. He blames it on the coke.

Top is standing downstairs, like he's been waiting to catch a glimpse of Mew, and even though he hates Top, he has to admit that he looks good. Well, except for his eyebags and the nervousness on his face.

Mew walks to him, tripping over his own feet, and Ray steadies him with his hands though he's not doing much better himself.

Distantly he can hear them talk, Mew's accusatory voice floating through his ears. Top is probably making some stupid excuse. He zones out entirely, letting his brain stray to the one boy he's been thinking of lately.

All he can think about is Sand, Sand's glare at him the other night, Sand's voice echoing in his cranium, nestled between the folds of his brain, in the crevice of his heart, "Just let me go, Ray."

He can feel Mew's palm on his cheek, warm as he pulls Ray closer to him. When their lips crash together, he can hear the audible wince that Top lets out, his stare scathing. Mew's lips are plush, but at the back of his mind he can't help but think that Sand's mouth slots better against his own, a perfect fit.

He lets his hand move to Mew's sides, drags his palm along his waist, trying to savour the taste of his lips. The taste he's yearned for, for so, so long. It doesn't work, his ears ring loudly and it feels like the walls of his brain are suddenly painted with one face, Sand.

When they pull apart, Top is looking at him with a glare, and Top starts talking again, desperation obvious in the frown of his face. Mew looks like he's getting sick of it, of the conversation and then he's throwing his drink at Top's face.

NamChueam notices them, the peacemaker, the only one that's not messed up and she walks in to interrupt. She's agitated too, her brows raised high in anger, even more than Top and Mew. She says something angrily, pointing at Mew and then at Top. Ray couldn't care less.

He lets his eyes travel around the room, distracted- to the people dancing, to the two girls on the dancefloor, grinding against each other, to the two men flirting.

It's Sand. Sand is on the couch, another guy leaning into his space, and there's a small smile tugging at his lips. Ray tries to recollect the last time that look had been directed at him.

Ray slips away quietly, taking advantage of the chaos that Chueam's interruption has caused and walks right towards Sand, who's now laughing at something the other dude is saying. His vision blurs at the edges as he pushes through people to get there on time, and all he can see and think of is Sand.

The other dude has a hand on Sand's thigh, and Sand looks so incredibly hot in his tank top as he leans in to kiss the dude, and Ray can't have any more of this, his brain screams at him in despair.

"Hey!" he yells, pulling them apart as he stands between them, "What are you guys doing?"

Sand lets out an exhale, incredulous as he looks at Ray like he's tired of him. Ray can't have that.

"Did you fuck him?" he turns to ask the dude, who's squirming in his seat, clearly uncomfortable, "Can I join? We can have a threesome, I don't mind."

Sand looks away with a sigh, exhausted from his antics.

"Why didn't you come to me?" Ray whines, too high to think straight. Sand frowns at him, and spits "And why would I come to you?"

Ray sits next to Sand, reaching out cradle Sand's face in his palms before crashing their lips together and when Sand pushes him away there's rage in his eyes.

"I don't wanna get between boyfriends." the dude says, and walks away, and Sand's eyes trail his back as he sighs.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he yells, standing up as Ray follows his movements, "Just leave me alone, go fucking guard your boyfriend or something!"

Ray steps closer to him, close enough to feel Sand's breath, "Just admit it, Sand, you like me." He pokes at his chest with his index finger, "No, you love me."

He holds Sand's hand in his own as he groans, desperation probably painting his voice, "You're mine."

Sand all but growls as he pulls his hand away roughly, "Leave me alone, Ai Ray. I'm not gonna sit here and be your second option."

Ray has a feeling he's fucked up big time when Sand rushes away, not once looking back. Sirens blare in his head as he sits there on the now empty couch, and lets his mind float away.

Until there's a loud quack and the sound of aggressive waddling.

'Oh,' he thinks as he sits up straight, 'someone's soulmate goose is here.'

It isn't the first time he's seeing one of those in action. He has seen these geese barge into random places at random times of the day to waddle towards their temporary owner. He has watched it waddle to Chuem, nipping at her calves. The next day, it had led her to April. Which is why he isn't all too surprised at its sudden arrival.

What surprises him, however, is that the goose waddles and waddles, feet loudly clicking against the tiles, until it stops right in front of him.

Fuck.

It honks loudly, because it's a goose, and spreads its wings as it throws itself on him, trying to aggressively peck at his face.

This is the last thing he needs right now.

He can feel about twenty people's eyes on him and he sighs, trying to pull the stupid thing off him. "Honk," it says, like a protest and from the corner of his eye he can see NamChueam walk towards him, or the goose, he isn't sure. She coos at the bird, forgetting how angry she had been just a few minutes ago.

He's too high for this fuckery, goddamn it.