Awwgust Drabbles

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I saddle Clark with the pet store beat, making some lame excuse about bailing Lucy out of jail. I think he bought it. It's happened before. I wish he hadn't succumbed so quickly. Sitting alone on the examination table is torture.

It's for the best,we needed time apart. I can't trust myself around him. My head says one thing and my body another.

I have nothing to worry about. It's probably just MONO. Lucy is wrong. There is no way I'm pregnant. Kryptonians and humans are not compatible. Things can go back to normal, me the tenacious reporter, and he the unattainable hero.

The door opens and it feels like a chapter in my life is ending. Dr. Chow closes the door with finality. He's a short, pot-bellied asian with thinning black hair. "Thank you for your patience, Ms. Lane," he sits on the stool. "Your bloodwork does not indicate mononucleosis."

"I'm pregnant, aren't I?" I beat him to the punch line.

"Congratulations," he smiles jovially. "You're going to be a mom."

"This isn't possible," I say. A small part of me was thrilled Clark was an alien so I won't have to worry about this sort of B.S. I would never tell him that.  Lois Lane is not cut out to be a mom.

I laugh delirously. "This is insane." Who knew? I giggle. Superman's sperm is as fast as the tabloids suggest. It just took one time. One fucking time. Damn you Clark. I was so focused on proving to him that I didn't care about his alien visa to think about the consequences. Pregnancy didn't even cross my mind. Not once.  

"There are options available if you don't want the baby," he says tentatively. "But I know Clark will be happy," his eyes twinkle knowingly.

The laughter dies. "How do you know Clark is the father?"

"You are his girlfriend, no?"

"I didn't realize my love life was common knowledge among strangers," I rest my hand on my swollen abdomen, surprised at how much rounder it feels.

"Forgive me," he says. "I thought you knew, I'm Chen's father."

"Oh," I squeak, the fear slowly fading. "What a small world."

Chen's name just keeps cropping up on me. I can't believe I thought that dork was a ninja Robin Hood. I blame Clark.

"Indeed," he scribbles something on a paper and hands it to me. "This is the number of a trusted obstetrician. She will take good care of you."

But is she equipped to handle an alien fetus?

"I don't believe it," I numbly take the slip of paper. "There really is a baby in there?" I point to my bloated belly. "This has got to be some big April Fools joke." 

"According to the high levels of HCG in your blood, yes you are most definitely pregnant."

"But how?"

I run that night over in my head. He was weakened by kryptonite, maybe that made me more susceptible to pregnancy. Or was he just a freaking sex god? I have so many questions.

"You're absolutely certain I'm pregnant?"

"Roughly twelve weeks along, yes." That tracked. But I'm still baffled as to how this happened. Am I the first human to carry an alien's child? That's a scary thought.

"But a blood test is not an exact science. I recommend you make an appointment for an ultrasound as soon as possible."

"Thanks doc, will do," I jump down from the examination table and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I look like a pregnant kangaroo.