Awwgust Drabbles

Soulmate AU

Bruce had no idea what he was doing. He should be on patrol, not stuck in his home theater with a beautiful, unattainable, immortal princess. What was he thinking agreeing to watch a movie? Movies were a waste of time. But it had been a slow night and the temptation to be himself, no secrets, no hurried exits, was too great. 

"It's about to get good," Diana munched on popcorn. The movie had only been on for five minutes or less. He was surprised she picked a chick flick. Bruce watched as an angry brunette stomped into an apartment.

'You said it!' the girl tossed her purse to the floor. 'You know you said it.'

'No I don't know what I said.' the poor sap followed his wife into the closet.

'You mean everything you say!'

'Sometimes I mean nothing when I say something.'

'Something is never nothing! It's always something.'

Hadn't even been ten minutes into the movie and Bruce already had a headache. He listened to Lois and Clark bicker enough already. He had no desire to watch a movie centered around failed relationships. "I don't see the appeal." He much preferred documentaries that would advance his knowledge. 

"There's so much passion and love between them," Diana said.

"It's a movie," Bruce said. "Love like that doesn't exist."

"You just haven't met the right woman," Diana elbowed him playfully. "Plenty of the wrong ones, beloved," she teased. Zatanna needed to learn to keep her mouth shut. Half the league knew about Batman's history with Talia Al Ghul.

"That's how I know this," he waved at the giant megaplex. The couple were now arguing about having a baby. "Is not reality."

"I've been around many more decades than you," Diana said. "And seen first hand this type of love."

"It only ends one way," Bruce said.

"Love doesn't end when one partner dies," Diana said. "Love transcends death." God, she was as corny as Clark. "Besides, it's about the journey not the ending."

"Well, if your career as a warrior tanks, rest assured you can make a living off creating Valentine's Cards."

"Is that a job offer Mr. Wayne?" Diana teased.

"Wayne Enterprises does not manufacture cards."

"Must you take everything so seriously?" Diana rolled her eyes. "It was a joke, Bruce."

"You'd be a terrible employee anyhow," Bruce crossed his arms. Clark used more sick days than an employee going through chemo.

"I don't know," Diana smirked. "I'm a stellar multitasker."

"That's what Clark says and his articles are always late."

"Working with Clark must be so awkward for you," Diana shuddered. "I''m surprised he hasn't figured you out yet."

The owner of the Daily Planet only had to visit once a month to keep up appearances. He was careful to separate Batman from Bruce Wayne, especially in Metropolis. "I get to boss Clark around even more. What's awkward about that?"

"He's so lucky," Diana watched the movie contemplatively. "The love he has with Lois is hard to come by."

He should keep his mouth shut, let Diana believe everything was peachy in paradise. But Clark's breakup with Lois was affecting his performance as Superman. It needed a woman's touch. "Lois and Clark are no more."

"What do you mean, they're no more? Did Lois die?" Diana straightened in her seat.

"Not exactly," Bruce said. However, a part of Clark died when Lois ripped his heart out. It was a mystery Batman didn't have the time to solve. He just knew he'd have to take extreme measures if Superman didn't clean up his act. "Lois dumped him."