Awwgust Drabbles

Proposal

Lillian trail is as empty as my womb. Clark's hand in mine is warm as we walk through the park. It's a beautiful October night, the air not too cold or too hot, just right. The trees are in full bloom, a canopy of red and orange leaves shields us. I brush a hand over my flat stomach and seal the tears away. I must be strong for Clark. He's been through so much the last few months. He can't know it hurts to be close to him. The boy would be two weeks old today.

Van.

I had been so close to fulfilling Clark's dreams. The son he abandoned on Krypton was almost a reality. Van was just a hallucination caused by the black mercy, but for the first time I mourn him as much Clark. There should be a stroller between us. Clark would have consoled our weeping son while I struggled to figure out what was wrong. Motherhood wasn't for Lois Lane, but with Clark Kent at my side I could have done it. When I look at Clark, I'm reminded of my failures.

"Lois, I've been thinking," Clark drapes an arm over my shoulders.

"Me too," I sigh. This charade can't last for much longer. Clark was right. An alien and human can't be together.

"What about?"

"You first," I say, not ready to face the music. I want to pretend to be his perfect match for one more night.

"Okay," Clark stops by the fountain and faces me. The flowing water sounds like a tsunami and suddenly I wish I were back home in my PJs. eating Rocky Road.

"Lois, when I've been lost, you've always been there to bring me back," he cups my face and I forget we're not a perfect fit. His touch is fire against my skin. "You've always believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself," Clark kisses my hand.

Oh no. He's looking at me the same way Mr. Darcy looked at Elizabeth before he said, 'You have bewitched me body and soul.' I pray I'm reading this moment wrong. There's a thunderclap and the sky opens, rain pouring down. Perfect timing. Thank you Zeus for saving Clark from making a huge mistake. I laugh uneasily. 

"Oh, come on give me a break!"

"Come on, Smallville, let's get out of the cold," I start to stand and he holds me in place.

"If the earth opened up at my feet, I won't move until I said this." Clark gets down on one knee and my heart begins to pound. "Will you marry me?" He opens a little black box, showing off a perfect diamond ring.

Had he asked me this last year I would have jumped in his arms and kissed him. But things are different now. We're too different. I see that now. "Clark," I close the box. "You're making a huge mistake."

"You're my best friend," he says. "I can't live without you."

But that's exactly what's going to happen. The Kryptonian will live for centuries after I'm gone. I will be a leatherly hag when he still looks not a day over forty. Most importantly, we're not compatible. He's the last of his people. He has a responsibility to be with someone that would allow Krypton's legacy to flourish. Somebody like Wonder Woman.

"And you're my best friend," I trace the contour of his face. A spattering of raindrops cloud his glasses. God, I love him, but I'm saving us from years of pain. He will resent me for not being able to give him a family.

"I will always be there for you, Smallville . . . as your friend."

There's another clap of thunder. I grab Clark's hand and together we run for cover out of the rain. I barely notice where we go. I see nothing beyond Clark's heartbroken expression. "Lois we're a great team," he shoves his fists into his pockets. "I want to be more than friends."

"I can't offer you more," I say. "Diana would make a good wife."

"I don't love Diana, I love you."

"Please, Clark," I pry my hand away from him and hug myself. "Try to understand. We just don't work."

"This is because of Lord Kal-El?" he shoves the jewelry box into his pocket. I flinch at his tone. "I can live with the world hating Superman, but not you."

Easier for him to believe I'm scared of him. I can't do that to Smallville. If I told him the truth, he'll talk me out of the breakup. "No, Clark this has nothing to do with Apokolips. My feelings for you haven't changed," I say. "You're great deal too good for me."

"Then why?" he says in a broken whisper. "It's simple. We love each other. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"And I want to be a millionaire. We can't all get what we want."

"Then maybe you should date Bruce Wayne!"

"Maybe I will!" I scream back at him. At least he's human. "You and Diana have a swell life together!"

I storm away and wish there was a door to slam in his face. His eyes stay glued to me all the way to the bustop, but he doesn't chase after me.