SSBBA: Fresh Jam

The Berry Long Winter

Oh. Yes.

I have been waiting for this episode to arrive for ages. Even though one could argue that it's a filler episode. Because there's no real conflict until the second half. It's just the girls playing Capture the Snowman's Nose for twenty minutes. But now that I'm here, we'll see how different this episode actually is.

----

I'm at Blueberry's bookstore, and she's about to read the baby Berrykins a story. 'Cause it's Storytime, of course. 

Blueberry: Would you like me to read you a story?

The baby Berrykins are all snuggled in my lap as they chant for their story.

Baby Berrykins: Stowy! Stowy!

Me: It's unanimous. They want a story.

Blueberry: And a story they shall receive. How about if I read you... this one. 

She grabs an indigo book off her stack of books. 

Blueberry: A story that I wrote myself.

Me: Wait, so you're telling me that you wrote another story and had it published? 

Blueberry: Ah, yes. It's an original tale, so I had no problem getting it published. That's what they're looking for nowadays in the story industry. Pure originality. 

Me: And, I suppose you're talented at making original stories.

Blueberry: {giggles} I am not one to brag about such things, but I suppose I do have a talent when it comes to producing fresh new tales... 

Me: We'll see if that's true next season...

Kevin and the other baby Berrykins are getting tired of our banter. They just want a freaking story.

Kevin: Can we get on with da stowy now?!

Blueberry: {clears throat} Anyway, this is a story that takes place right here in Berry Bitty City. 

Well, that changes everything. 

Kevin: Am I in it, Bluebewwy?!

Maggie: And me?!

Oren: And me?!

The other two baby Berrykins have a magenta head and an orange head. It turns out that the magenta baby Berrykin with blue eyes, the one in the middle, was Magenta's child, so I was given the honor to name her. I named her Maggie. And the orange baby Berrykin's name is Oren, as Princess Berrykin told me. 

It's surprising how Princess Berrykin can remember all the Berrykins' names considering they all look alike, but I don't wanna sound racist, so we'll leave it at that.

Me: Are all of us in your story, Blueberry?

Blueberry: We sure are. 

Baby Berrykins: Ooooh! 

Blueberry: It's called The Berry Long Winter.

Me: That's a creative name for your story, Blueberry. I wonder where you got the idea from. 

Blueberry: Because it WAS a berry long winter. 

A transition of a turning page displays Berry Bitty City under heavy snow.

Blueberry: Now, you might think this all happened on a winter's night. But it didn't.

Maggie: It DIDN'T?

Blueberry: No, it happened on a winter's day, and because it was a winter's day, you might think it was cold. 

Oren: It wasn't?

Blueberry: No, it was as warm as spring! Everywhere you looked, winter was leaving. Now, you might think everyone would be happy. But they weren't.

Baby Berrykins: Aww....................

In the story, Raspberry is disappointed that she didn't get to show off her winter fashions. 

Raspberry: {sighs} 

Blueberry: Everyone was sorry to see winter leave so soon. 

Then, I walk into Raspberry's boutique for some new outfits to wear for the spring season. 

Me: Hey, Raspberry. Do you have any spring outfits for me? 

Raspberry: Well, I do, but wouldn't you rather wear a nice cozy sweater instead? O-or some soft mittens? A parka? Anything winter related?

Me: If I wear winter clothes in this warm weather, I'll melt. 

Raspberry: {sighs} I understand.

Me: Is it really a big deal for you to get these winter fashions out?

Raspberry: Well, I barely get these winter fashions designed and displayed, and no one's even tried, or seen, or tried 'em on. And now I have to take 'em all down. 

Me: That's a shame. But that's how it is in the fashion business. Is there anything that'd make you feel better?

Raspberry: Oh, there is something, actually. You can help me find Mother Nature, so I can walk up to her and SLAP her in the face!

Me: Oh my God. I meant something reasonable. 

Raspberry: Okay, I'll slap YOU in the face!

Raspberry lightly, very lightly, slaps me across the cheek. 

Me: Ow?

Then Lemon and Cherry enter the boutique.

Lemon and Cherry: Hi, Raspberry! 

Raspberry SNATCHES a couple dresses off her racks and speeds over to them.

Raspberry: Oh, hi! Did you come to buy some wonderful winter fashions?

Lemon: Well, we were looking for something a little more... 

Cherry: Springy.

Raspberry: Oh, that's what I was afraid of. Well, I better get busy designing my spring line!

Raspberry walks away. I turn to Lemon and Cherry.

Me: Just wait. By the time Raspberry's done, it'll be SUMMER.

Raspberry throws a roll of fabric at me and I quickly hide behind Cherry.

Me: Geez!

Cherry: Um, we better give Raspberry some space...

Lemon: But what about our clothes?

Neither of us give Lemon a response as we swiftly leave the boutique.

----

Blueberry: And that's how it was all over town. The early spring caught everyone by surprise. 

The baby Berrykins and I are confused by Blueberry's story.

Me: That doesn't make any sense.

Blueberry: How come?

Kevin: You said your stowy was about winter!

Blueberry: And it is.

Maggie: How can it be winter when it's warm? 

Blueberry: Well, you'll just have to be patient and see what happens.

Oren: Why can't we skip to the ending?

Blueberry: Because that's not how books are read. 

Oren: So can we wead another one?

Blueberry: Oren, we haven't even started this book yet.

Maggie: I just wanna go to sweep...

Blueberry: But it's-

Maggie goes to sleep in my lap and Blueberry sighs.

Blueberry: Oh, good grief... 

Me: Keep going, Blueberry. Kevin and I are paying attention. 

Kevin: Yup!

Blueberry: {smiles} Okay, then. 

She begins to read again. 

Blueberry: And so it was, that lots of folks were sad to see winter turn warm. Lots of people, but not everyone.

----

At the Berry Bitty Cafe, Strawberry is passing out cups of cocoa to Blueberry, Orange and Plum. I am sitting at the counter, replacing the bug that sat there in the original episode. 

I think that bug died or something.

Strawberry: Here you go.

Blueberry: Hot chocolate? We should have ordered lemonade.

Me: Why DIDN'T you order lemonade? Have you felt the weather outside?

Orange: We were GOING to, and then THIS one opened her mouth. {points to Plum}

Plum: I wanted hot chocolate, okay? 

Blueberry: So, why did you order for the rest of us, then?

Plum: Just in case you didn't want yours, so suck it.

Plum is being extra annoying today, because I guess the humid weather is getting to her. So, I grab an ice cube from Strawberry's freezer and plop it into Plum's cocoa. 

{plop!}

Plum: Hey! 

Me: There! Now it's COLD cocoa!

Plum: You ruined my cocoa!

Me: Looks like I'm extra coco-naughty today! 

Plum: Cocoa-saboteur!

Plum CHUCKS her cup of cocoa at me, and luckily I dodge. But the cup SHATTERS as it hits the wall, spilling cocoa on the floor.

Strawberry is furious and she roars at the both of us.

Strawberry: WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! 

Plum: He put ice in my cocoa! 

Orange: {sighs in frustration} Good God...

Me: Well, you were being obnoxious!

Strawberry: BOTH OF YOU ARE IDIOTS!

Blueberry: This is why I wake up in the morning.

Strawberry: Just clean this up! I'm not tidying up after you!

Plum and I groan as we work together to clean up the mess.

Blueberry: I think the early spring has gotten to them.

Orange: {to Strawberry} You have seen the heat outside, haven't you?

Strawberry: {rolls her eyes} Yes, Orange, I live here too. 

Orange: Then why are you still serving hot chocolate on your menu?

Strawberry: 'Cause I haven't gotten around to changing it yet! Sheesh! 

Blueberry: Oh, you're acting like this is the end of the world. What's so bad about an early spring?

Me, Plum, Orange and Strawberry: EVERYTHING!

Orange: My store's overstocked with fruitcake, chestnuts and marshmallows.

Plum and I finish cleaning up the mess and stand near the window.

Plum: I barely got to show off the new hat and matching scarf and mittens that Raspberry made for me. 

Me: I offer my patients candy canes and festive winter stickers after their visits, in tradition to the winter season, but now... those candy canes and winter stickers are just on the shelves gathering dust... looking down at me... 

Everyone shivers after I say that. 

Blueberry: The snow melted before I even got a chance to go sledding. Or build a snowman. Or play my favorite winter game, "Capture the Snowman's Nose." 

Strawberry: Aw, that's a classic.

Plum: Snowman's Nose.

Orange: Eh, it's alright. 

And now it's up to me to kick off this episode's main event.

Me: You know, we might not be able to wear our mittens until next winter, but we could play "Capture the Snowman's Nose," now!

Blueberry: To do that, we'd need snowmen. 

Orange: And to do that, we'd need it to snow.

Me: Not necessarily.

I turn to Strawberry's snowcone machine for the answer to our problems.

----

So Berrykin Bruce has created a snow machine, and has also rendered the snowcone machine's original purpose impossible. 

The snow machine gurgles as we're all watching the nozzle shoot out a thick, white, continuous stream of snow, forming a pile of snow.

Berrykin Bruce: All you gotta do is keep the juicerating confabulator turned on, keep this dial pointing here, flip on the freeze-a-lator like so, and presto! Instant snow!

Strawberry: Thank you, Berrykin Bruce. 

Blueberry: There is no way the snow won't melt.

Strawberry: {giggles} No need for such a cold attitude, Blueberry! Let's build our snowmen! 

Blueberry: The snowmen are going to melt, I just hope you know that.