𝐈𝐫𝐢𝐬 || 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐩𝐨𝐨𝐥 & 𝐖𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞 ||

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒

˗ˏˋ꒰🤎꒱

"And boy, did he ever. Which brings us back to this—the desecration of the sacred corpse," Deadpool narrated, breaking the fourth wall as he often does. He was decked out in makeshift Wolverine claws, grinning like a maniac. 

Blade, ever the observer, crouched behind a log, watching as her brother tore through a squad of TVA soldiers.

Deadpool slashed through two soldiers, but one of the claws got stuck in his arm. "Ow, my own fucking arm," he groaned, yanking it out with a wince. His momentum didn't stop, though, and soon he had the claws stuck in the crotch of two unfortunate TVA soldiers.

"I'm sorry, Wolverining is hard," Deadpool quipped, struggling to free the claws. One of the soldiers writhed in agony, gasping out, "I can't stop."

"You sick fuck," another TVA soldier spat, watching Deadpool's antics with a mixture of horror and disgust. "Wolverine was a hero and the only thing worth a shit to ever come out of Canada."

That comment lit a fire under Blade. She sprang from her hiding spot, her switchblade gleaming in her hand. In one swift motion, she plunged it into the soldier who insulted her country. "Get our country's name out of your fucking mouth," she hissed, then added with a smirk, "And my switchblade. Bring it out."

With a quick, fluid movement, she yanked the blade free, wiping it clean as the soldier collapsed to the ground. Deadpool, meanwhile, finally managed to pry the claws out of The TVA soldiers crotch.

Deadpool pulled the phone out of his back pocket, glancing at it before turning to Blade with a mischievous grin. "Oh, we gotta find us another Logan. An alive one," he quipped, his tone dripping with sarcasm. He looked down at the fallen TVA soldiers, their groans filling the air. "Don't get up, guys. We'll see ourselves out."

With that, Deadpool tapped on the phone, and a shimmering portal materialized in front of them. He shot Blade a wink and, without a moment's hesitation, stepped through the portal

˗ˏˋ꒰🤎꒱

The portal opened to a dimly lit bar, filled with the sounds of clinking glasses and the thud of axes hitting wooden targets. Deadpool and Blade stepped through, scanning the room until Deadpool's eyes landed on a familiar figure sitting at the bar.

"Logan!" Deadpool called out, his voice full of exaggerated excitement. The man at the bar, unmistakably Wolverine, turned to face them with a gruff, questioning look. "I'm gonna need you to come with us," Deadpool continued, his tone suddenly serious.

Wolverine narrowed his eyes, sizing them up. "Who's asking?" he growled, getting off the barstool. As he stood, it became clear—this Logan was comic-accurate in every sense, including his shorter stature.

Deadpool couldn't help himself. "Well, look at this little hairy Lou Retton," he teased, leaning closer and switching to a baby voice. "Did you stick the landing move, guy? Yes, you did, comic-accurate short king."

Logan's expression darkened, his anger evident as he took a step closer. Sensing the danger, Deadpool quickly grabbed Blade's arm, pulling her slightly behind him. "Such a cute wittle Wolvee," Deadpool taunted, his grin widening. "Cue the fucking montage, baby."

Before Logan could react, Deadpool opened another portal behind them. The siblings quickly backed up into it, their smirks under their masks lingering as the portal closed.