Remember

I stole it from her.

5 months later.
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ALLIE MOORE

I'm woken up by the sound of my phone ringing. I groan and blindly reach for it, my head still underneath the covers. I somehow grab it and answer it.

"Hey Mom." My groggy morning voice definitely gave me away.

"Allison, darling your not still asleep are you? It's 10am!" My mother's voice filled the phone and definitely woke me up a little.

"I have one class at 2pm today mom, let me sleep in this once"

"How do I deal with you, child."

"Mother I'm at college, you don't have to deal with me." I sighed as I sat up.
"Plus also, being a college student is very tiring and I need my beauty sleep".

"For the love of God. Allison, you can't just say 'plus also' it's one or the other!"

Truth be told, I knew it wasn't grammatically correct, but it was my thing. Like my catchphrase, if that's still a thing.

I stole it from her. She said it, not me.

"You've slept in a lot lately."
She paused, a silence between both lines.

Here we go.

"I think it's too soon, you can always come back, have another session with Doctor Grayson?"

"Mom I'm fine."
I've said that so many times these past few months that it doesn't even sound like a proper word anymore.

"Allison, I-"

"Mom. Let it go. I'm fine."

"I-" she hesitated but then stopped. "I love you, you know? And I just want what's best for you."

I take a deep breath in before replying "I know".

"I'll-uhm- I'll leave you to it then."

"Bye mom."

"Goodbye, Allison"

I hung up and laid back down in bed and sighed.
It takes all the strength in me to get up.
I make my bed, open my curtains, pick out my clothes for today, grab my shower supplies and go to the bathrooms.

Today feels different, maybe my luck will change.
Or maybe it won't.
—
Once I'm ready, I head down stairs to breakfast, which, luckily, doesn't close till 11:15am. Which makes sense considering a lot of students sleep in if they don't have morning classes.

See! It's normal, Mom!

I grab a chocolate croissant, some yogurt and of course, the sacred drink of all college students, coffee.

I have the perfect playlist this morning, a lot of the evermore album by Taylor Swift but also some fall classics, like There She Goes, the different La la's from Gilmore Girls (that people always forget about!). And yes I know it's December and falls over but, I'm still in denial.

"Hey, Allie!" 
I turn my head in the direction of the voice.

"Jamie?" I drop my tray on a random table before walking over to him and giving him a massive hug.

"I haven't seen you in months! How are you? What are you doing here?" the questions just fly out but I can't help it, James is- was one of my best friends.

"I'm good but did Ronnie not tell you?"

no cause I haven't talked to her in 4 months.

"Tell me what?"

"I go here"

"You go here? Like to university?"

"Yeah" he chuckles softly, "I go to Yale."

I tilt my head in confusion, "but you said you hated the whole idea of college?"

"Yeah but uhm you know, Asian parents and all that, but also I changed my mind."

"Huh"

"What is it?"

"You just-" I hesitate "you never seemed the type to go to college, let alone an Ivy League."

he paused.

"But it's great! Yale is a great school and this means we can spend more time together." I tried lifting up the mood.

"Yeah, I guess." he offered me a half smile.

"Do you maybe wanna eat with me, we can talk and catch up?"

"Uhm yeah-" Jamie's eyes moved to behind my head and his smile vanished.

"I gotta go, I'll see you."

"Oh- okay." he walks off in the other direction before I can say goodbye.

I walk over to my usual table in the corner and put on my headphones, trying to forget today's events. I've had so many guidance counsellors come up to me to 'chat' because apparently I should be interacting with other people. I would but, I'm just so tired.

I finish up my food and head to the library, I might as well read a bit while I wait for my class to start.
I take out my book and pause my music because unfortunately I am not one of those people who can read while listening to music.

"The Bell Jar hm?"
The man pulls out the chair beside me and sits down.

I turn to look at him.

"What do you want?" I narrow my eyes at him.

He picks up the book and examines it, as if checking for clues to solve.

"You never did finish it, did you, Alls?"

"Go away Ethan"

"You know I can't do that"

"Then what do you want!" I say, a little bit too loud which earns me a lot of shushes.

"They want to see you."

My face pales.

"I told them everything I know."

"Did you, Allie?"

"Why me?"

"Not just you, love, they want all of us."

I lean my face into my hands, wishing to be someone, anyone else at this moment. To disappear-

like she did

-to be away from this moment.

He gently puts a strand of my hair behind my ear, just like he used to when I was stressed, or overthinking. It's reassuring.

Was all of that fake?

"I'll be there with you, I won't leave your side"

I should tell him I don't want him by my side, that he's trouble, one of the reasons I'm the way I am. He doesn't get to be sweet, and handsome. I shouldn't want him anymore.

"okay" I mumble softly.

I'm very weak.

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Ahhh first chapter!!!
this is my first ever Wattpad book so I hope you like it! Updates will change from time to time. I will try to post 3 times a week. Or more hopefully! But I'm very busy with school rn

hope you liked it!

xx kim