Old & Knew

FOUR

AVA

Wow, from his perspective, Sabryna put him through pure hell. Even worse was that the things Mason told me about their situation were true. I could barely hold back tears listening to him speak. The pain remained in his voice long after everything went down. What I did enjoy was the light in his eyes when he spoke of his kids. That showed me more than anything he could say about the kind of man he really was. I enjoyed his company, even got caught up in his storytelling. When he finished, I commented.

 "You're a great actor."

JL asked. "How?"

"You have this bravado, a force field of arrogance that you parade around. But deep down you're a huge softie."

"You think so?"

"I know so. You remind me of my father. I'll never understand why strong men feel the need to hide their true nature."

"Maybe we aren't as strong as you think."

That had never crossed my mind. Moving forward, it would.

"So, you're staying together because of the baby?"

"We're not together, really.  She has her life in Aidan, and I have mine here."

"But you still love her."

JL paused, sighed then took a drink before responding.

 "I do, I mean she's been my heart since I was a kid. But I'm learning that love doesn't mean we have to remain a couple."

"Understood, but you're not completely a part either."

"I guess not." He admitted before adding. "But there hasn't been much of a reason to move on either."

"You mean like another relationship?"

He shrugged, then responded. "Maybe."

"If you're done with your marriage, then be fair to yourself, and your wife first and let it go. Another person shouldn't be a reason or a token of your decision to end it."

"What about you?" He shifted in his seat while changing the subject. "Why aren't you with someone?"

"Right now, I don't have the capacity for a relationship. And my life is good right where it is."

"But life keeps moving. When it does, then what?"

"I'll cross that bridge when I get to it."

He asked. "How will you know when that happens?"

"I won't have to question it, that's how."

"Okay, I see you're as confident about your personal life as you are your business. "

Smiling, I replied. 

"I don't have a reason not to be. A woman in the sports industry has to be self assured above anything else."

"Another drink?"

Feeling comfortable, I glanced at the time, then answered. "Why not."

While he refilled our glasses, I excused myself for a bathroom break. JL really had me thinking about my own life. Like, could I come out on the other side of his experience as intact as he did? Because damn, he's been through hell. I also had to admit that I was glad I took the time to learn more about him. Maybe my mother was right. There's nothing wrong with simply getting to know someone.

"JL." I began to confess while returning from the restroom. "I've really enjoyed your company. And I guess now would be a good time to tell you that I kn—"