Old & Knew

ELEVEN

JL

Bry has iced me out. Ava's conversations were limited to business, and my therapist has basically told me to grow a pair. It's been three months and I can't catch a break.

"Poor you."

Chad openly mocked as he, JJ and I strolled through the park near the hotel my son and I would call home for the next week. Bry had a business trip, so I made time to be in Aidan. But she had no desire for me to stay at her place while she was out of town.

"You can't seem to get out of your own way with women."

"I already have a therapist, Chad."

"Good, but as your friend, I have to add, it seems like you want your cake and to eat it too."

"Isn't that the purpose of having cake?"

"Yeah, but Bry, you know how she is. She's sensitive, especially after that whole thing with Mason's punk ass."

"I didn't do that to her. So, why should I own her lack of emotional stability?"

"And why should she pay for yours?"

I paused, then turned to my best friend to ask. 

"Whose side are you on?"

"I don't have a side. I have a woman who loves your  woman. And  I have to hear this shit every night, that 's all."

"You seemed more invested than that."

Chad shifted his weight from side to side while rubbing the back of his neck. Growing concerned, I gave JJ a bottle then focused on Chad. He finally cleared his throat, then began to speak.

"This is the thing. I've been around a while now and what I've learned is that Bry still hasn't forgiven herself. She felt even more guilty when she had JJ and you two weren't together. She's putting on a strong front, but she's in a bad way. She's crying every night and it's not because my big headed godson is wearing her out. She misses you and her biggest fear about your relationship has now come true."

"Still, I didn't put any of this into motion. You think I wanted this shit to happen? To be a virtual parent to not one child but two? I love the shit out of Bry, and I always will. But some shit just can't be forgotten no matter how hard I've tried."

"But her friend?"

Annoyed, I sighed before responding.

"They started at the firm together. And Bry abandoned that relationship like she did ours. If I hadn't met Ava on that flight, they may have never spoken again. So, what's the big deal?"

"I mean, for me it's not, but for your wife..."

"Damn, I have to feel bad about something I had no knowledge of? It's not like we're even a thing."

"But you want to be."

"Wanted." I confessed. "Apparently, jumping from marriage into pursuit of another relationship is a cry for help or just straight up stupidity."

Chad asked. "Why can't it be both?"

"All I know is I dig Ava and her past with Bry has nothing to do with that, nor can it change anything. But this little guy, and Jazmine need me more than I need to be focused on anything other than my own happiness, alone, at least for a while anyway."

"And how much are you paying your therapist?"

"Sounds like enough don't it?"

We both laughed, then returned to our walk. As we entered the hotel lobby, Chad asked if JJ and I could meet him and Aniyah for dinner Friday evening.