The Love You Want (sleep token fic - Polyvessels)

III: Part Fourteen

In a rare moment alone, II paces back and forth in his room. Stress has his nerves fried, mind running around in circles as he goes over his mental to-do list. It's up to him for this festival gig to go smoothly. He knows if he asks it of III, they would help, but II doesn't want to bother them with all of this technical stuff. And Vessel... isn't in a place where he can help with any of it. Perhaps in the future, but right now? II couldn't possibly ask.

Wringing his hands and shaking them out to try and release some of the tension keeping his muscles wound tight, II continues pacing, mouthing off his list.

On top of II's stress over the festival itself, he was trying to juggle Vessel's overwhelming anxiety over the crowds and performing in front of people other than them. Not to mention, III has been quieter than usual all day. Vessel had sought II out for affection, which he had been happy to give, and III had been the one to isolate themselves. It was worrying, and III hadn't opened up about what had upset them yet. II was afraid to pry, and wanted to give him space.

Vessel's promise had helped immensely, even if he knows it will be a hard one to keep to. The fact that Vessel has promised at all... it truly means the world to II that he was willing to try, even if it wasn't for Vessel's own sake.

II was so tired, all the time. He needed to be strong, be responsible, and take care of the other two. He wants to take care of them, wants to keep them happy and safe, its just... it's hard. Sometimes all II wanted was to be held and allowed to cry, but he couldn't allow it. If he shows weakness, II fears the others won't want to trust him with their problems.

Being the Second, the pillar of the foundation they've laid, crumbling or cracking under pressure... He must not allow it. He was a pillar for Vessel, for III, throughout their struggles and will happily continue to be so. He refuses to crumble under the weight of his responsibilities. II knows he's better than that, knows he can handle this just fine. He has to. There is no other option. If he crumbles, II fears the others may fall, too.

He has to be the voice of reason in their devotion to Sleep. Their worship of the God leads them to accepting treatment befitting of a servant under heel of its master. II won't allow it. Sleep has been... getting better, to put it nicely. It is not enough. II will make damn sure the God learns how to be kind, how to be human. III is already teaching Him, in their own way, so full of love and life and irrevocably human in spite of their death and rebirth.

So right now, II needs to pull himself together. This festival gig is important. It's their first ever show and everything has to go according to plan.

Taking a deep breath and wiping away his tears, II reopens the sliver of the bond he'd closed off, just to let his own emotions loose from the tight leash he kept on them. Just for a few moments. It was time to find the others, he decides, checking the time on his phone before slipping it into his pocket. III is easiest, his door opened up a crack again. Knocking lightly, II pushes it open to find III asleep, dried tears on his face. Not usually one to nap during the day like II does, it was strange to find III like this. Whatever it was must've upset them pretty bad.

"Sweetheart?" II shakes III's shoulders gently.

Uncharacteristically, III startles, flailing away from II quickly with eyes still half-shut and blurry from sleep. Breathing quickened with fear, III's arms come up instinctually to cover his face.

Vessel's bond lights up with panic, and II struggles to send reassurance down their bond while also trying to talk III back into the present.

"It's just me, sweetheart. You're here, at the manor. Vessel has gone out to the forest on a walk and should be back any minute now."