The Love You Want (sleep token fic - Polyvessels)

II: Part Two

After their talk of the bond, Vessel leaves II to shower and have some time to himself, and they don't see each other for the rest of the day. II assumes that they just haven't crossed paths, but it becomes clear when the next day is the same, and the day after that, that Vessel is avoiding him.

He can't stop the hurt at the realization, and goes to look for Vessel to ask why. To ask if he's done something to upset the other man. He isn't in his room, or the kitchen. Not the living room, or the practice room where II finally sees the drumset sitting in the corner. He doesn't stop to look at it, a little worried now as Vessel still hasn't shown up anywhere. There is nothing but calm over their bond, but that doesn't reassure II in the slightest, having seen Vessel's physical distress while the bond projected nothing but peace. The other man has clearly figured out how to hide his own emotions, and II starts looking a bit more frantically.

Its as II is looking around outside the manor that he feels it, the bond clicking off entirely. The emptiness swallows him whole.

Panicked, II calls out for Sleep's help as he goes back inside. "Sleep, where is he? Please, I- I can't leave him like this."

"The first is in no danger. He is in the bathroom, hiding, sick." The God replies in confusion, "Doing as he always does."

"What does that even mean?!" II replies, heading for the restroom that is in the back of the house.

He hears a single sob, and he would feel more embarrassed for the frantic knocking on the bathroom door if he hadn't heard the choked retching that followed.

"Vessel, are you alright in there? I- I felt you shut off the bond and got worried."

Worried does not begin to cover it. Such a simple word could never describe the agony of Vessel's presence just- disappearing. But II told him he could turn the bond off whenever he wished, and he isn't going to go back on that now, even when he still isn't sure that Vessel is even al-

"I'm okay."

It's small, and shaky, but Vessel's voice floods II with relief, just knowing he really was in that bathroom.

"I know you're not. Vessel, please, don't lie to me. Let me help you."

"No! You- You can't see me like this. You'll hate me, I'm already ugly, please- Please, II, just go away!" He begs, and II's heart shatters at his feet at the fear, the desperation in the other man's voice.

"I would never think you ugly, and I'm not leaving you Vessel. I'll stay here until you come out yourself." II turns to sit against the door of the bathroom, resolved to sit and wait as long as he needs to.

He refuses to leave Vessel to wither away in his sadness alone. Try as he might to omit it from the bond now, II felt it clear as day and he is never going to leave Vessel to deal with such misery alone if he can help it.

II sits there for hours, mask pulled up to expose his mouth, tapping out a beat on his thighs while he waits. Vessel had gone silent, but every once in a while, II is able to feel his presence move closer, then, once realizing II was still there, move away, the bond unable to hide that from him, at least. At some point, II begins talking about the music he enjoys, R&B and Pop, then explains in further detail how he got Elvira and all the ways she's gotten herself into trouble over the years. The cat herself comes and go's as she pleases, never staying for long.

Vessel never says anything, never makes a sound except for the disgusting noise of vomiting into the toilet. At one point, II is sure he heard the other man crying but its so faint, II isn't sure he heard right. Sleep leaves them alone, and II doesn't bother the God. They clearly thought nothing was wrong.