Crushing on the Captain

Five-Graham

        I was eighteen, he was twenty-two. This had been when Logan's contract with the Atlanta Tigers had been almost up, and he'd been carefully sorting through his options for the trade deadline. He'd almost certainly decided to go with Denver, and as one last formality, the coach had invited Logan, Graham (who was the captain), and all of us to dinner.

        Coach Jay and his wife, Amelia, had us over at their house and cooked a fantastic dinner. Unfortunately, I had trouble appreciating it due to my instant crush on Graham. As soon as I'd thought that he was incredibly attractive, I felt foolish. This was Graham Everett. He had hundreds, maybe even thousands of admirers. He was painfully handsome, impossibly talented, and devastatingly rich. It was not only ridiculous, but embarrassing to imagine that I was even worth noticing.

        To my absolute horror, I ended up sitting next to him at dinner. At the end of the table to my right, was Logan, but oh, how he felt so far away. He was to be of no help if I wanted to survive the night without making a total fool out of myself.

        At first, things went well. I was able to eat and the discussion about hockey was enough to keep me silent. I didn't even spill anything on my sweater, or choke on my water. An hour had passed and I hadn't spontaneously combusted or anything.

        Then Coach Jay asked Nick and me what we did for a living. Part of me wanted to hate him for drawing attention to us, but it was impossible to hate the man. You never would've guessed he was one of the most winningest coaches in hockey history. He was smiley, with crinkled eyes and a kind gaze. I couldn't hate him, despite his opening the floodgates for opportunities for me to embarrass myself.

        Nick bought me more time, talking about his investing company and how he was working on some projects. At the time, he had only been a lowly employee, whereas now he owned that company. But he saved me, talking for several minutes.

        Coach Jay hadn't forgotten me. "What about you, Eve?"

        "I'm going to school this fall to become a teacher," I said shyly. Graham had just taken a big bite of mashed potatoes, so maybe the conversation would move on before he even realized they were talking about me.

        "At CU?" Coach Jay asked.

        I shook my head. "State."

        He grinned. "Bit of a house rivalry there," he laughed. Dad had gone to Colorado when he was my age, meaning I would be attending at the place of his greatest loathing.

        Smiling, I said, "State has a better teaching program. Although I do feel bad for betraying you, dad," I added.

        He waved me off. "Betrayals, shmetrayals. I'm just happy you're going somewhere where you get a good education."

        "What grade do you want to teach?" Graham asked.

        I almost froze up. Curse mashed potatoes for being so swallowable! He had asked me a question, meaning he had been paying attention. Truthfully, I had half expected him to stand up without realizing anyone was sitting next to him. I was invisible in his eyes. But no, he had not only realized I was there, but also had asked me a question.

        "Early elementary," I finally said, hoping that my voice wasn't as squeaky as I felt like it was. "Maybe first grade. I love teaching kids to read."

         He gave me a dazzling smile that turned my insides to molten lava. "That's good. I remember when I was learning to read, I had a teacher that tried so hard to get me to read. She picked out books she thought I'd like and then help me work through them."

        The conversation turned to Graham as mom asked if he had grown up in Denver. I should've been listening, but my brain was elsewhere. I hadn't been invisible. He had actually spoken to me.

         Gosh, this was pathetic.

         Later in the evening, Nick and I offered to help Amelia wash the dishes. Mom had always told us that when you went to someone's house, you helped with the dishes. Logan escaped, of course, since he had to talk to Coach Jay. So it was Nick and me standing at the sink, the water running as we washed the pots and loaded the dishwasher.

        Once we were done, Amelia thanked us and we sat down in the living room with everyone else. I ended up on the only other available seat, which was on the couch right beside Graham. I wanted to give Nick a dirty glare for sitting on the end of the couch, beside the armrest, but I was too worried someone would notice. Once again, I tried to stay quiet and melt into the upholstery.

        When Mom and Coach Jay started talking about Logan's younger days (read: when Logan was five and the cutest hockey player you ever did see), Graham glanced at me. His gaze seemed to sweep through me and instantly learn all my deepest, darkest secrets.

        "Are you cold?" he murmured, misreading my small, shriveled posture. "I can grab a blanket for you."

        "No, I'm fine," I said politely. "Thank you." It wasn't just the raging fire in the fireplace that was keeping me warm; sitting this close to Graham was practically giving me a fever.

        "Okay, let me know if you change your mind," he said in a low tone. At the moment, I was glad to be wearing a sweater so he couldn't see the goosebumps on my arms. The personal, soft tone of his voice was torturing me. My chest felt tight, like my ribcage was being squeezed out of me. Some small, selfish part of me almost wished that Logan wouldn't sign with Denver, so I would never run into Graham again.

        Unfortunately, the contract was signed three weeks later. Logan was officially a Dragon. He moved into his new house, and I was stuck in the same city as Graham with the potential to see him frequently. Graham, who was an unhealthy crush and was off-limits. Not only was he impossibly out of my league, but he was my brother's captain. I couldn't just casually date my brother's captain. How awkward.

        The second time I fell in love with Graham, I was nineteen. It had been Christmas, and Graham had invited the entire team up to a huge resort in the mountains for the weekend. Everyone had gotten a plus one, and Logan had selected me, since he was single and knew I would enjoy a vacation. What he hadn't known was that my crush on Graham made this trip an absolute nightmare. But I went anyways, deciding to make the most of it.

        It had been the best weekend of my life. Graham himself had taught me how to ski, along with Logan, who plowed straight into the snow almost every time he went down the mountain. Graham and I were laughing so hard we could barely check on him. Afterwards, we'd spent the evening in the chalet, drinking hot chocolate around the fireplace. I'd gotten a lot closer to Graham that weekend, and while my crush definitely hadn't wavered, it was a lot easier to be in the same room as him.

        The third time I fell in love with Graham was on Logan's twenty-third birthday. He'd thrown a little barbeque in his backyard, having just family and some of his closest friends over. He'd insisted that he didn't want gifts, but of course we all brought something. Graham, however, also brought flowers for mom and dad, thanking them for raising such a wonderful teammate. It had turned my heart into a chocolate chip cookie, where the chips were melted and the cookie part was soft and chewy.

        Over the years, I'd fallen in love with Graham dozens of times. Every time was a little different, under various circumstances and at varying amounts of complete adoration. And over the years, we became a little closer. He and Logan were best of friends, both on and off the ice, so sometimes I was drawn into their little group. Hanging out at Logan's house, dinner after the game, or riding home from the arena together happened so often that Graham became part of my life. The way I felt about him was impossible to ignore, but I certainly could bury my feelings deep. So deep that they sometimes hurt, but I was determined to keep them hidden.

        Except, of course, for what had happened on New Year's. 

A/n: Yes this is the chapter from Full Strength!