Strip to the core of my heart

10

Minji

I stormed in to her office, slamming the door shut which surprised her as she looked up as she stood up. "Ms. Kim?" She asked and I slammed my hands on her desk.

"Don't 'Ms. Kim' me, Hanni." I said and she looked even more surprised. "Give me a chance, Hanni." I said and she looked at me with shock. "I'm not going to let you walk away from this, you already saw a side of me that no one has ever seen. I can't let you go after that." I said and her eyes softened.

"Ms. Kim, if this is about everything I had said last night, you don't have to feel bad." She said and I let out a sigh. "It's not about that, Hanni. It's about the fact that I let you in, I let my walls crumble down for the slightest moment when it came to you. It's about the fact that I want to show you more of me." I said and she looked at me confused.

"Where is all of this coming from?" She asked and I went around the desk to stand in front of her. I grabbed her face and pulled her closer to me. "This isn't who I am, Hanni. And you know that. I don't do feelings and emotions because I grew up that way, but with you...I want to feel." I said. Her eyes widened in complete shock.

"You're not just any woman, Hanni. You're the woman that has walked right through me. And yes, at first it was all just for sexual need. But not anymore. Every time you held me, you made something in me twist and turn in a good way." I said as I grabbed her hands and brought them up to my chest.

"You're carved in to my brain, you're the blood coursing through my veins, my point of mere sanity, Hanni." I said and her eyes looked deeply in to my own. "I didn't know what to tell you last night, you completely caught me off guard and let you walk away. But I won't let you walk away from me ever again, I'm getting you out of that damn club and I don't care if you protest. If you'd like, you can live with me or I'll just get you your own place." I said as I pulled her closer to me.

"But listen to me very carefully, you will not set foot back in that club, got it? You're mine to keep, Hanni. I don't plan on sharing you with any of these mother fuckers." I said before crashing my lips on to her own.

Lifting her up as I sat her down on her desk. Me between her legs, my hands roaming all of her body not knowing where to touch her. One night of not having her and I feel like I'm loosing myself.

"Minji, wait." She pushed me off her for a second and I looked at her with wide but soft eyes. "What does all of this mean, Minji?" She asked and I let out a sigh as I buried my face on her neck. "It means that I want to give it a try with you. That I want you to teach me the way to your heart." I said as I pulled back briefly. Her eyes looking at me with a bit of uncertainty.

"And that I also want to prove to myself that I can change." I said as I looked down and Hanni lifted my chin with the tip of her finger. "What if you don't change? And you break my heart?" She asked and I let out another sigh. "It's all so complicated, but I want to go through everything with you. I want to hold your hand and comfort you and for you to do the same for me." I said.

"This is all new to me but I'm so eager to try it out with you." I said and she looked at me with glossy eyes. "I'm scared to get hurt, Minji." She said honestly and I pressed our forehead together. "I'll never hurt you Hanni, all I ask is for a bit of patience and understanding while I become accustomed to all of this, please?" I said and Hanni stared at me as she thought of it.

I was only hoping for her to say yes to me, I want this with her. More than I've ever wanted anything before. I'm messed up in so many ways but I'd never hurt her, I'd probably put a bullet through my brain before ever hurting her. Because who would want to hurt this angel?

Not me.

I watched as she carefully reached out for my face, her fingers stroking my skin so delicately. I let my eyes flutter close as she kept touching me tenderly. "It takes more than just words, Minji." Her voice making my eyes open again. "It takes action or in other words commitment, and that's something you definitely don't do, Minji. You can't force yourself to do something you've never done before. It won't end well." She said with a sad smile.

"I'm not forcing myself. I want to willingly commit to you if that's what I have to do for you to believe me. Maybe not take things so fast and slowly work our way there. But I truly want this with you." I said but she still seemed a little skeptical and it saddened me a bit.

I knew I was bad, but I didn't think this bad.

"Minji, I want this. It's like a dream come true, but I'm scared. I do really want to be with you but I won't allow myself to be hurt." She said and I hugged her tightly. Her thighs wrapping around my waist as her arms wrapped around my back hugging me as tightly as I was.

"One chance, that's all I ask for." I whispered against her hair and Hanni held me tighter than before. "I'm broken, Minji. I don't think you'd want me to be the first girl you try a relationship with. I'm not going to be perfect and I'll definitely mess up a lot." She said and I shook my head.

"We're meant to learn from our mistakes, Hanni. We'll learn together along the way if we must, but please say yes to me. I'm being true and honest with my words, if you want me to prove it to you in every way, I will. Just say the word." I said and she let out a sigh as she pulled away from me.

"No sex for now, Minji. Sex isn't the only way to prove that you're serious about this. Give me your raw emotions and feelings, show me every little part of you." She said and I froze, no sex? This is going to be hard. Because I'm already hard and we're talking about nothing sexual.

But if I have to hold back, I will. I have to, I can't loose Hanni.

"Okay, no sex. I'll show you that I mean it in every way that I know. So does this mean that you'll give me a chance?" I asked with hope and Hanni smiled at me as she let her eyes loose themselves with my own.

I felt like I was drowning but it didn't seem to matter. Nothing ever will because I want it. If it's Hanni, I would drown myself in her rage, sadness, and fury.

Hanni leaned in and placed a kiss on my cheek as she gave me a big smile.

"Yes, I'm giving you a chance."

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