Code of Shadows

Chapter 62 - Healing and Forgiveness

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was the wind gently rustling through the trees. The soft sound, accompanied by the distant hum of village life, should have been soothing. Instead, all I could feel was the dull throb of pain radiating from my body. My ribs ached, my head was pounding, but I was alive.

I blinked, adjusting to the dim light streaming through the open window, and turned my head slightly to see Ethan sitting beside me. His hand was wrapped gently around mine, his thumb brushing slow circles over my skin. His face was drawn, the tension evident in the tight set of his jaw and the deep worry lines on his forehead.

"You scared me," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion, breaking the silence. His eyes were locked on mine, a mixture of relief and fear swirling in them.

I opened my mouth to speak, but all that came out was a hoarse croak. Clearing my throat, I tried again, "I'm sorry." The guilt hit me hard. I hadn't meant for any of this to happen, hadn't meant to put us in this position. But I had, and now here we were.

Ethan shook his head before I could finish. "You don't have to apologize," he said, his voice firm yet soft. "This isn't on you, Alex. You did everything you could. You always do." He squeezed my hand, his grip warm and reassuring.

I wanted to believe him, but the guilt still gnawed at me. I hadn't just put myself in danger—I had put Ethan in a position where he had to choose between me and the mission. He could have been compromised because of me, and that reality was hard to swallow.

"I didn't mean to..." I trailed off, unsure how to express the weight of the thoughts swirling in my mind. How could I explain the constant battle between wanting to trust him completely and being terrified that one day, that trust would be the thing that got us both killed?

"You don't have to explain," Ethan cut in, as if sensing the turmoil in my mind. His thumb kept brushing over my hand, grounding me. "We're in this together, Alex. Always." His voice was steady, filled with the kind of resolve that made it seem like nothing in the world could shake him. And for a moment, I let myself believe that.

A long silence settled between us, comfortable for the first time in what felt like weeks. The argument we had before this mission felt like a distant memory, and for the first time, I realized how much I had been pushing him away. My fears, my trust issues—they'd all been barriers between us, but now, lying here, vulnerable and in pain, I knew that if I didn't let those walls down, I'd lose him. And losing Ethan? That wasn't something I was ready to face.

I squeezed his hand back, my eyes locking onto his. "I've been keeping things from you," I admitted softly, my voice barely above a whisper. "Not because I don't trust you, but because I'm scared of losing you. This life... it doesn't leave room for mistakes."

Ethan's gaze softened, and he leaned forward, brushing a strand of hair away from my face. "I know," he said quietly. "But you don't have to carry that fear alone. We face it together. That's how we survive." His words were like a balm to the anxiety that had been brewing inside me for so long. Maybe I didn't have to do this on my own anymore. Maybe I could trust him with more than just the mission.

Just as I was about to respond, a sharp vibration interrupted the moment. Ethan's phone buzzed insistently on the table next to him. His expression hardened as he picked it up and read the message, his eyes scanning the screen with an intensity that sent a shiver down my spine.

"We have intel about a major attack," he said, his voice low, but urgent. His eyes flickered up to meet mine, and I could see the weight of the situation reflected in his gaze. "It's New York. Something big is planned, and we don't have much time."

My heart sank. We had barely survived the last mission, and now we were being thrown into another. But that was the life we had chosen, wasn't it? There was always another threat looming on the horizon, another crisis demanding our attention. There was no time for rest, no time for healing. Not in this world.

"I'm ready," I said, pushing myself up despite the pain that shot through my side. Ethan was immediately at my side, helping me, his touch gentle but firm.

"You're still hurt," he reminded me, his eyes scanning my face with concern. "You need more time."

I shook my head, determination surging through me. "There's no time for that, Ethan. We both know it. If we don't stop this, who will?" I met his gaze, and for a moment, there was something unspoken between us. We were in this together, whether we liked it or not.

Ethan nodded, though I could tell he wasn't happy about it. But he knew better than to argue with me when I had made up my mind. He handed me my gear, and I began to strap on my equipment, wincing slightly at the pain in my ribs but pushing through it.

As we prepared to leave, Ethan hesitated for a moment, his hand lingering on my arm. "Be careful," he said softly, his eyes locking onto mine. "We can't afford to lose each other now."

I nodded, my throat tightening at the weight of his words. I knew what he meant. Every mission was a gamble, and the stakes were getting higher with each passing day. But we couldn't let fear paralyze us. We had to keep moving forward.

With one last glance at the peaceful village that had served as our temporary sanctuary, we headed out, the world around us shifting back into chaos. There was no more time for healing, no more time for reflection. A new threat loomed, and we were the only ones who could stop it.

As we set out, the weight of the mission pressed down on me. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was different this time—that the danger ahead was greater than anything we'd faced before.