The Beginning

Nicky

"Hey, Uncle Nicky."

"Hi, Uncle Nicky."

"What's up, Uncle Nicky?"

Small voices echoed and chimed as I made my way to Desiree's office. I gave a cheery 'good morning' or a crisp high-five as they passed. Jessica sat behind her desk. Red hair had been curled loosely at the ends. It stood out against her green, knitted sweater. Warm brown eyes gazed at me from behind round, black framed glasses. A gentle smile became a clownish grin. Her round cheeks forced her eyes closed.

"Uncle Nicky!" She burst, running around her desk to suction herself to me.

As much as I hated to admit it, Jessica was absolutely my type. Thick. Shapely, but severely lacking in the height department, I felt a craving. My fingers begged to bury themselves in her backside. There was no doubt that I could have fistfuls with plenty left over.

I thought of Tess, who probably slept soundly in my bed. There was also no doubt in my mind that she wasn't worth risking. It was how she watched me when she thought I wasn't paying attention. The way her arms cradled me while I slept. Her giving nature and caring heart had been taken advantage of too many times. She deserved someone better.

"Hi Jessica." I gave her an awkward one-handed pat on her shoulder blade. My other hand pressed back on her opposite shoulder. "Have you seen Principal Palmer?" I peered through her doorway to see her desk empty.

"She just left for a doctor's appointment. Between you and me, I think she's trying to get early maternity leave. She keeps talking about--"

"That's great." I interrupted. "You want to...?" I gestured to her prolonged hug.

"Oh." She detached but stood between her desk and me. "I'm sorry. You just smell so good." Her hands smoothed my chest.

I took a step out of her reach. "I'll give her a call." My hand clutched my phone in my pocket.

"Who?" Jessica wondered. "Oh! Right. Desiree." She reached out to touch me again but thought twice and dropped her hand. "I don't think she's coming back today. Baby number five has been giving her a different experience. Said she might quit after this one."

It wasn't that I couldn't stand when someone prattled on, it was that Jessica had to throw in every bit of gossip where she could. I took a breath to calm my nerves. "Thank you." I kissed my teeth and turned on my heel.

"Nicky." She sounded as if she were right behind me.

When I glanced over my shoulder, I was confronted with Jessica's close proximity. "Yes?" The word escaped in an unimpressed breath.

"Are you and Tess a thing?" It was an innocent enough question, but it sounded bitter on her tongue. "Are you guys together? Dating? Or is this a little thing while you're here?"

Discomfort begat an easier emotion. Anger. It rose in my chest, banged against my eardrums, and twisted my lip. "I don't know what you're talking about." A line that I'd used more than once.

Of course, I wanted to brag to the world about Tess Bowen.

When you're used to being the monster behind the mask, you get used to certain norms. One of them always being the protector and provider.

Tess managed to wrap me in a blanket of safety. Everything about her told me that her loyalty was beyond compare. Though, she never seemed to have a problem telling me when I was wrong. She was the comfort that I didn't know could exist in my world.

I had forgotten the reason others looked forward to returning home after long days. Now I had my own.

Women in Jessica's shoes only saw the mask. She saw the Nicky who brought toys on Christmas and drove fancy cars. Like Scarlett, she was the type of woman who would be happy enough to spend the money but run away when things were unbearable. When the mask needed to be taken off and the fangs needed to come out, they would go with the easiest option. For Scarlett, that was fucking my brother. For Jessica? Who knows.

While Tess had expressed her unease with the weapons I carried and the work I did, she didn't fear me. She didn't back away from or hide her face. In fact, she barked back and stood her ground. It was easy to see that she came from a world of eat or be eaten. Tess wouldn't fold against the ugliest parts of me.

No, the one thing that would push her away would be my permanency in her life. Her answer to my question this morning only proved that. Her excuse was lame, and she wasn't exactly shy about asking me to go back.

I couldn't deny that it cut a little deeper than expected.

Jessica scoffed. "Everyone has seen you two together."

"Is that all, Jessica?" I wondered.

Her thin lips pressed together. Her arms folded over her petite breast. "Thanks, Nicky." She meant anything but.

"Thanks, Jessica." I gave her a wink and clicked my tongue.

On the way out of the school, phone in hand, I sent a text to Desiree. No sooner had the text been sent than Santiago rang through. "What?" I answered monotonously.

"Hi Santi, I'm sorry I'm late to the church. I'd love to hurry my ass over." Santi replied sarcastically.

"Oh shit, that's today?"

"I called you!" he exclaimed frustratedly.

"Yeah, I've got a few things on my plate. Give me some fucking grace." I slid into the driver's side and started my car.

"Are you serious about moving back?" He asked.

His question caught me off-guard. "I don't know." Liar. As much as I hated the memories made in Colburn, I couldn't leave them with the result of my past transgressions. I wouldn't allow the community to suffer.

"It's not a bad idea, Nicky."

"You haven't been quiet about it, either."

"I just mean that Uncle Dom hasn't been himself. I don't think he's been honest about everything that happened with Rico or Hannibal." Santi's voice dropped.

"Elaborate."

"A couple weeks ago, Rico called him for help." Santi's throat pinched and he swallowed audibly. "Uncle Dom promised to come for him, to get him out of here. He said he was going to get Rico some help, but he never came. Rico called and begged, and Uncle Dom stopped answering the phone. When he finally did show up, Rico..." He trailed off unable to admit the death of our brother.

"Why would Dom want him dead?" The question leaving my lips felt blasphemous. If there was one thing we could always count on in this life, it was that our family wouldn't abandon us. They might disappoint you as often as they get the chance, but they'd never leave you high and dry.

Shit, if I had gotten that phone call, Rico would've been on the first flight out. I could understand, however, why that call never came. With that thought, the disgust and anger Santi felt toward me made more sense than ever.

"Roni and I already had our suspicions." I admitted. "He threatened Tess after our first family meeting, then he miraculously 'forgot' that I asked for his help. I'm going to get ahold of Noah Palmer. He should be able to give us more intel on Hannibal."

"Desi's husband? Why?"

"He works at Angelwood. He's our best lead on where Hannibal could be or who he was talking to before he was released."

"That makes sense. Do you think he'd tell you the truth?"

"Yes, I do. Is there any reason that I shouldn't?"

"Uncle Dom said that the guards were in on the take. If he paid them off, they have more reasons to be quiet about it."

"Santiago." I used his name as the curse word I truly wanted to use.

"Dominic." He clipped out. "Look man, can you just get here? Mom's pissed."

"On my way."