The Beginning

Nicky

 Used to being the bad guy, I wasn't sure why I found it next to impossible to walk through those large restaurant doors.

I'd dreamt of everything that happened up until this point. Top dog, leader of the pack, whatever the fuck you want to call it, it was me. I was finally there.

And I didn't want it. I wasn't ready.

I rolled my shoulders back then tugged the jacket of my charcoal suit taut. The vest beneath was a few shades darker and much silkier, matching the tie about my neck. A stark white button up beneath completed my ensemble.

Though I felt like I stood tall, the scarred roadmap left behind on my right cheek gave away the obvious pain. They'd removed the wires months ago, leaving me with scheduled physical therapy and eighteen gold teeth. Confident in my ability to enunciate, but not my power to break the bad news to everyone, I dropped my head.

"Hey handsome." Tess's voice smooth and melodic to my ears. Her black dress hugged everything just right, stopping above the boot she wore on her left leg.

At my request, everyone wore their funerary outfits. I had missed saying goodbye to my brother. Maybe I'd have another chance tonight with all of the people I loved the most.

"Goddamn, baby." I had to keep myself from shouting. "Turn around." I commanded.

Without hesitation, Tess did a choppy spin.

I cupped her hip, slid my palm down her thigh and around her backside.

"Stop it." She swatted my hand.

I leaned into her, lips to her ear, I whispered, "You wearing panties?"

"Move your hand right now." She responded in a low tone.

My hand gripped all it could hold.

In my last conscious minutes, she came to me at first as an echo. Distant and hollow, I felt as if it were too good to be true.

Her palms cradled the literal shattered pieces of me, trying to keep me all together. Tess's voice grew stronger, closer. Begging me to open my eyes, her distress grew when I couldn't respond.

Unable to display the overwhelm of relief I felt knowing she had made it, I attempted to do as she asked. Clouded in residual despair and plagued with the question of whether I truly wanted to live through this, I found her request too demanding. Slipping easily into the cushion of darkness, Tess's final pleas went unheard, and I found Rico.

"Your mom's coming." Tess warned as she glanced over my shoulder.

"Ha-ha." I replied sarcastically, pulling her closer.

She stood taller and gripped my wrist. "Hello, Mrs. De La Cruz." She chimed.

I released her and turned to greet my mom. Instead, I found Tess had walked around the other side of me, allowing a smattering of attendees to view my indiscretions. "That's dirty." I complained.

"That's why you like me?" she offered.

"Come over here and say that." I teased.

"Are you going in?" Roni popped up beside me.

"Jesus." I moved to clutched my racing heart but found myself aching at the sudden movement.

Tess was quick to catch my shoulder for stability. She placed her free hand over my heart.

"I'm fine." I assured Tess though slung my arm around her shoulder.

She leaned into the show of affection. Her hands moved to my sides as she picked up on my fatigue.