The Beginning

Tess

I thought he'd take me home. I had imagined that Nicky would dump me off with what I had and separate himself from me as quickly as he could. I could already hear his sarcastic "good luck" and see the middle finger as he departed. Rather, we drove aimlessly through Colburn. His eyes had been plastered on the windshield for the last ten minutes.

"I'm sorry. I should've told you." I broke the torturous silence.

His gaze shifted to mine as he asked, "Can I get the other half of the story, Bowen?"

Oh no. Not Tess, not Miss Bowen. Just Bowen. "You only call me that when you're mad."

"You said it was money." He reminded me.

It was money. I wasn't sure how to tell him that it was drug money. I'd told him that they weren't the best parents. Their addictions led them down paths I hoped to never look in the eyes. Unfortunately for me, apples don't fall far from their trees, and I'd filled shoes, trailed footsteps, and nearly lost myself. When my grandfather left that money to my mom, I knew it would only fuel my dad's wicked cravings. I didn't expect him to become the monster that was run out of town.

"I'm sorry." He spoke softly. "I'm sorry that it came out that way and that you didn't have a chance to tell me on your own terms. I shouldn't push you." His large square hand left the steering wheel to sneak between mine.

I didn't realize I nervously fidgeted until he stilled my shaking hands.

"It would've been nice to be prepared, though." Nicky admitted his frustration.

The idea that he'd be tired of me by next week ran to the front of my mind. It spun circles mockingly around the affirmations I tried to drown it in. Our six months cut short by the reality that I haven't changed. As awful as Lexi treated me, in a way, I was just like her; unable to give the full truth. "I didn't tell you because I thought you were leaving anyway. I was being selfish. I thought if you knew that you'd..." My words trailed off as I searched for a direct route to the truth, hoping there was a fork in the road to avoid my embarrassment.

Nicky waited patiently, while I tracked every path back to my humiliation.

"I thought you'd be less interested." It felt better and worse at the same time. The sweetness of truth overcast by the bitterness of my insecurity.

To my surprise, Nicky's sharp, brilliant smile dimpled his cheeks. His hand squeezed mine. "You like me?"

"That's what you're worried about?" I asked before I could hold my baffled tone. Of course I liked him. While he brought out memories of a past that I'd rather forget, he also held my hand when things were difficult. Nicky kissed me where it hurt, and nurtured what he couldn't hold in his hands. I couldn't remember the last time that I'd felt safe with someone. When other men called me beautiful it was because they thought it'd be a direct line to my zipper, Nicky seemed to truly believe it. I hadn't had someone choose me in a very long time.

"Obviously. You saw that shit show. Think you could deal with that for a few decades?"

"A few decades?" It punched me in the gut. Not because I'd only expected six good months, but because I couldn't begin to fathom how he could think so far into the future.

"Yeah, I have to assume Uncle Dom doesn't have that much longer. Vin's his little twin, but he's quieter, you know?" Nicky felt the tension in my hands and smoothed his thumb over mine. "Or maybe you'll get sick of me by then." He shrugged his shoulder.

Taken aback, my eyes snapped to his profile.

He snickered at me, when he sobered, Nicky commented, "I don't give a shit about the family drama, Tess." The way he said my name melted me. An almost insignificant sigh of relief when it wasn't my surname. "That doesn't have anything to do with us, does it?"