Dear Ethan: A Second Chance Romance

Chapter 30: Like Day and Night

*Jodie*

"Want to go for a walk?" I looked up at him from the couch. It was almost midnight.

"Don't you have to be in the gym?"

He shrugged. "It can wait." I gave him a look of disbelief. Ethan was meticulous with his workout schedule. He never veered away from it in the entire time I've been here. But something told me not to question it.

We put on our shoes and walked out the front door wearing sweatpants and hoodies, past the winding driveway and through the black gates that opened with a lurch. 

It was dark but the glow from the streetlights imbued the pavement with a mystical glow as we made our way down the slope. It smelled like fresh-cut grass.

I snuck a look at Ethan's profile. His expression gave away nothing as we walked side by side, my hands stuffed into the pockets of my hoodie.

"Cold?"

I shook my head. It was chillier than I thought but I didn't want to turn back. Something about this moment felt so right. The moon was full and bright. And all I could hear was our footsteps against the concrete and faint music playing in the distance. My heart swelled when a lit window caught my eye.

I smiled, tugging at Ethan's arm, until we stopped in front of a house to watch an older couple dance around in their living room, going back and forth, hand in hand. They moved fluidly, at ease with each other after years and years. I wondered what song they were listening to.

We watched them for a bit before sharing a smile and moving on.

"So what's it like?" I finally asked.

"What's what like?"

"What's it like being a big deal?" He laughed and the pure sound of it made me smile.

"I don't think I've changed that much. The only thing that's changed is the way people act towards me."

"What do you mean?"

He paused for a second, his brow furrowing. "It's like they think I'm not really a person. That I'm this larger-than-life character."

"I can understand that."

He faced me now, stopping his stride. "You can?"

On the other side of the street, someone passed by with their dog tugging against a leash but otherwise the whole neighborhood was quiet. It felt like the whole world was asleep while we were on our night walk.

"Even in school, it felt like you were destined for something bigger. I felt like I could never get too close to you." 

In the darkness, I could still see the surprise flicker across his face.

"You know, I never wanted to play football to become a celebrity." He said quietly.

"I know," I said. "That's what I liked about you. You were never in it for the glory or for the accolades. You just wanted to play." He shot me a grateful expression. 

And he didn't need to say anything else for me to understand. We exchanged looks. And behind those looks, words. Thank you. You got it.

"What do you think it means to live a purposeful life?" He said after we ventured far enough that we couldn't see Ethan's house anymore.

"To have it be full of meaningful moments," I replied. "After everything that's happened, it made me really question if I'm really living life to the fullest. Sure I love running the bakery and getting to work with Sam. But a part of me wants something more." I've never said those words out loud to anyone. It felt almost wrong. Especially when I should feel grateful for what I already had.