The Happy Lights in your Window

Chapter 15

Kas

He checks the books as per his list and keeps ticking off the list. The hall is silent. Not because it's a library but because there isn't a person in there besides him. Its late in the night. He stretches and rubs his chest. It still hurts from time to time. A niggling chronic reminder from his nemesis. Zander. He shakes his head vigorously as if physically shaking Zander off his mind.

His phone beeps with a message. Ma is home waiting with dinner. A few minutes later, he is on the bus. He closes his eyes wearily. Seven years. Seven long years. Nothing has changed. Nothing. His Ma still works long hours while he works part time jobs. One at the library and one at the warehouse. Kas has developed respiratory problems and a chronic chest pain due to his injuries at the beating Zander has given him. A significant amount of the money they make goes on his medicines and treatment. 

When he gets home, he sees Ma asleep at their tiny dining table in the little apartment they live in. She has dozed off, exhausted. He gently pats her head which is more silver than black. As an adult now, he knows it's premature greying. She looks frail and much older than a woman in her forties. He quietly goes in to wash up.

His reflection in the bathroom mirror shows a thin sick young man with pale skin and dull eyes. As the mirror fogs up because of the hot water shower, he writes the forbidden name on the mirror. The name that his Ma has not allowed him to speak in the last seven years.

Kaya.

Dor

"Where were you?", a grumpy voice speaks to her back. She sighs and continues her work silently. "You have been gone for almost the whole day. You don't even answer the phone at all "The rant continues and she mutes out the sound automatically breathing in the aroma of the freshly baked breads. She pictures her little sherlock Kas in this very same room, breathing in the smells and saying "delicious" without even tasting anything. She smiles to herself at the beautiful memory. A heavy hand lands on her shoulder. She turns around. "Drake, I was gone for two hours. You know I don't carry my phone when I go to visit Kas". 

She turns around to see Drake standing before her. He leans heavily on his cane and his movement is slow. He has celebrated his 58 th birthday this year but looks more like seventy. She helps him to a chair. "You know that boy is probably dead, don't you?"" he tells her viciously. "He isn't coming back, girl. You might as well make a grave without a body for him and go light a candle for him".

"Cenotaph", she replies automatically, "A grave without a body is called a cenotaph", she winces as he tightens his hold on her wrist. "Don't get smart with me girl", he snarls. Drake has become increasingly obsessive and insecure over the passing years. His arthritis has become severe and he can hardly move around. He fusses over her all day, wanting her in his line of vision at all times. Sometimes, in the night, he suddenly holds her tight as if she will leave him when he is asleep. It's getting more frequent. 

Drake has been impotent for years now and it makes him emotionally insecure and needy. He watches her all day especially her interaction with male customers. A young boy comes into the bakery and his silhouette in the door against the bright sunshine outside makes her heart stop. "Kas", she whispers, her body taut with tension. The boy comes in, a young teenage boy and suddenly she relaxes. Of course it's not Kas. Kas is now a grown young man in his early twenties.

There a loud laughter outside as some of the boys' friends join. The boys are full of life and energy as they joke and look eagerly at the pastries on display. She smiles. Kas would now be a young man in his prime. She wonders if he has grown taller and stronger than her. She chuckles to herself thinking of him on a motorbike speeding or may be playing football in the rain.