The Happy Lights in your Window

Chapter 18

Kas

As Kas turns the key into his apartment door, Ash nervously taps him on the shoulder. " Are you sure it's ok for me to join in for the family dinner?". Kas laughs. He's been doing a lot of that lately. "It's just Ma and me. Family dinner sounds quite grand. We have just a small two room apartment so you might feel a little confined", he warns Ash, looking pointedly at Ash's long legs. Ash smiles and shrugs. A little while later, the three of them are sitting huddled around the small table. Ash being much taller looms over them. Kas and his mother look similar in built and size, both small and thin. Kas smiles as he looks at the variety of dishes on the table. His Ma has gone all out to welcome his friend. It's the grandest dinner they have had in years.

Agnes Maris

She smiles as she watches Kas and Ash chatting animatedly. Kas has become quite chatty over the last two months. He mentions Ash all the time at home. Her quiet Kas who spoke only when needed or rarely smiled is gone. In front of her is this cheerful young man who argues and complains, eats heartily and laughs aloud. Kas seems to be reliving his lost youth days with a vengeance. Today, the weight of her guilt seems lighter. The guilt of the hardships her young son has endured. She realizes Ash is talking to her, appreciating the dishes she has made. She doesn't question him about his personal life and they keep the conversation light. Kas has already briefed her about his background.

"Do you know that Kaya used to call Kas when she was learning to speak Ash? She couldn't pronounce the K so she kept saying Ash. It seems like fate has brought you into our lives Ash". As she smiles as Ash, Kas stops his eating midway as he stares at her astounded. She gently smiles at him. It's because the name she has not spoken in years has just slipped so casually from her lips in small talk over dinner. "Ma", he tells uneasily. "It's ok Kas", she tells him gently. "It's time to reconcile and accept it". Kas knocks back his chair and envelops her in an embrace. As the two try to express a multitude of feelings through that long needed hug, they totally miss out on Ash who is watching them with a strange expression.

Kas

He watches Ash relishing his pizza with the joy of a ten-year-old. He smiles and looks out of the window. It's a bright sunny day and he watches the people in the pizza parlor. There is chatter and music and liveliness. He closes his eyes and absorbs the sounds. The voices seem content as though they know they are well loved. "Are you seriously dozing off with such amazing company present?" Ash's indignant voice breaks into his daydream. He opens his eyes and finds Ash glaring at him. "Nah, just enjoying the atmosphere" Kas assures him.

But is this three month of friendship celebration necessary"? Kas asks him again. "This place is so expensive". "Relax, I can afford a pizza", Ash tells him. They banter lightheartedly over the idyllic meal and Kas recalls the home dinner he and Ma had with Ash a month ago. He can see the changes in his Ma. She dresses better, eats better, calls him on the phone often and has even gone out a couple of times with her factory friends for a movie and shopping.

She even laughs at funny talk shows on tv. It's as though someone has been gently chipping away the stone which has been in their hearts for years. "Thank you, Ash,", he says softly. Ash nods his head gently without any questions. Kas's phone rings. It's from his Ma's factory. The news is Ma has had a serious fall from one of spiral stairways in the factory. Kas blinks and stares at the floor. He numbly allows Ash to help him up and walk towards the exit.

Kas

He sits in the hallway of the almost deserted corridor in the hospital. Its late afternoon. It's been a day since they got the news. Ma has had emergency surgery and is still in critical care. He wearily takes the coffee that Ash has just gently put into his hands. Just when things were getting better, he thinks. It's as though some one keeps erasing the word happy from his fate the moment the word is being written. "Kas", a man's voice calls out. He looks up and the fog in his brain clears sharply as a formally well-dressed man stands before him.

He blinks seeing the elegant middle-aged man. He wonders where he has seen him before. The man looks distraught and overcome with worry. "Kas, I am Ryan Bernard. Do you remember me"? Kas is shocked. "How did you find us"? Ryan Bernard replies grimly "I have always known that you and your Ma were living in this town". "What are you doing here? What do you want?" Kas asks him angrily. "All this can be discussed later, boy" Mr. Bernard tells him firmly. "Let's just focus on your Ma first."" Kas hesitates when he sees the tears shimmering in Ryan Bernard's eyes but then his face hardens again. "Mr. Bernard, you are not welcome here. You are not family and if I see you here again, I will call the security!".

Ryan Bernard tries to reason with him but Kas turns his back on him. Ryan Bernard comes in front of him again and offers his business card to Kas. "I can take care of everything here Kas. You only need to call. I will be waiting". Kas ignores the offered card. Ryan Bernard gives the card to Ash and tells him "Convince him, please" and reluctantly leaves.

Kas goes and quietly slumps into a chair. Ash comes and sits next to him. They both sit quietly, lost in their thoughts. Three days have passed and Kas is pacing the hospital corridor anxiously. The bills are piling and he has no savings left. Ryan Bernard has visited several times and almost inundated Kas with calls but Kas is like a rock. He wants nothing to do with Zander's family. "I have taken care of the bills", Ash's voice filters through his agitated mind.

Kas doesn't turn towards Ash but says quietly "I can only thank you. You have just known me a few months and I have already burdened you so much". Ash jumps in front of Kas and gives him a bright smile. Kas relaxes and they both sit in amiable silence in the depressing corridor. After a few minutes, Ash tells hesitatingly "Regarding Ryan Bernard" ...." Kas glares at him. "" Hey, hold on, we are just talking right?" Ash replies hands defensively in front of him. "Talk", Kas replies wearily. Ash gently prods him, coming closer and almost whispering, "Haven't you ever wondered why Ryan Bernard is so desperate about helping your mother".

Kas doesn't reply. He has thought of it several times and he plans to ask his Ma once she recovers. He also has vivid childhood memories of his Ma slapping a passive Ryan Bernard in front of their home. "I have two theories", Ash tells Kas cheerfully. "Maybe he was your dad's partner and cheated him out of his business and a repentant Ryan Bernard is trying to make amends to the family". Kas looks up surprised. This thought had never struck him. "Ash, you could be right", he murmurs in a surprised whisper. "Yeah, he could have done some big injustice to my Pa and he is trying to make it up to us." He gives Ash an admiring smile. "Ash, you just solved a long-term puzzle for me. After Kaya, I really could not build up the courage to ask my Ma on anything from the past". He gives Ash a vigorous congratulatory handshake, delighted. "Let's go get coffee. We also have to discuss how much I owe you and how I should pay you back". 

Ash gets up and puts some distance between them "I haven't told you my second theory yet", he tells Kas cautiously as he increases the gap between them "Oh yeah, a second theory", Kas tells him absentmindedly, "What's the theory, genius"? Ash increases the distances slyly and carefully looks at Kas. "Have you wondered if you are Ryan Bernard's lovechild?". As Kas growls, Ash runs closely followed by Kas's shoe flying behind him.