The Happy Lights in your Window

Chapter 17

Dor

After an entire morning slaving over the baking and handling customers with Drake whining continuously in the background, Dor quickly steps out to make some quick purchases. As she is just about to enter a supermarket, someone suddenly comes up to her and gives her a quick tight hug. Before she can react, the man has already moved away. "Oh, I am so sorry". He apologizes in a soft cultured voice. "I mistook you to be my friend. So sorry once again."

She nods. The man is very thin and seems to be sick. He seems young but his face is covered with a stubbled beard and sun glasses so she can't make out his age. He watches her for a minute as if he is waiting for her to say something. "It's fine", she assures him kindly. He hesitates, then gives way for her to enter the shop. She actually feels the disappointment coming from him. He obviously mistook her for some really dear friend. She turns to take another look at him but the man is gone.

Kas

As he watches the scenery passing by from his train window, Kas feels a helpless anger building in him. All the answers that he needs are in that big house. The big house with bright lights and dark secrets. He feels the need to vent. He tears out a page from a book from inside his bag and draws a stick figure and writes Zander on it. Then he takes the safety pin which his Ma always insists should be in his emergency kit. He opens the pin and starts poking the figure. He wonders if Zander will feel the pain. He pokes the figure repeatedly and viciously. A tall hooded figure seated behind him chuckles softly at this childish gesture.

When Kas gets off at his destination the next day, the hooded figure follows. When Kas goes home, the hooded figure stands below his building watching till the lights go out at night in Kas's little apartment.

Next day, Kas is at the library, working, sorting books, etc. Someone taps on the inquiry counter and Kas looks up. A tall man with very grey hair smiles at him. Kas realizes that the man is actually very young and has probably dyed his hair gray. The young man gives him a very cheerful smile. "So glad to finally meet you Kas!" Kas looks at him surprised. "I mean to say", the youngster quickly corrects himself", I came to enquire about the membership a couple days back but the guy was not so helpful. He said Kas would help you. So here I am".

He gives a wide smile, his eyes twinkling. Deep grey eyes. Kas wonders if he is wearing contacts." Your ID?", He asks the strange youth. The young man hands over a student ID. Ash Gray, age 20. "You've got to be kidding me ", the words leave his mouth before he realizes it. Ash laughs. "Nope, Ash Gray is the name. The eyes are real too.! "Kas stares at the strange Ash who looks like he has just walked out of an anime film. "Wait here, let me just copy your ID ". As Kas goes to copy the ID, Ash smiles and murmurs, "I finally found you, Kas".

Kas

"Sorry, we don't give out member information", Kas tells the teen girl politely. "But it says here, Inquiry Counter", she persists. Kas counts from one to ten under his breath and then forces a tired smile on his face. "What you are asking for is personal details of a member which is against our policy", Kas tells her patiently. The girl grumbles and goes back to her seat. Her seat shows complete ownership with her sling bag across the chair and her stuff on the table. It's a highly coveted seat. A seat opposite the latest center of attraction at the library. The center of attraction seems completely unaware of the growing fandom. 

Kas has been inundated with queries from the last few days asking for personal information about just one new member. As if feeling Kas's eyes on him, the object of almost every young girl's fawning devotion at the library looks up at him. Ash Gray. Ash winks at him and gives him a wicked smile. The teen opposite gasps and almost chokes on the water she was drinking.

There are soft oohs and aahs from across the hall. Ash gets up and stretches. His t-shirt goes up slightly exposing a thin strip of lean abdomen. And the girl opposite almost falls down from her chair. Kas rubs his temples as he feels a headache coming on. The headache is actually literally walking towards him. Ash deftly evades a girl who was intentionally about to walk into him. He comes to the counter where Kas is viewing the growing list of new membership forms. "Wanna grab a coffee?", asks Ash leaning over the counter table. "No", says Kas automatically without looking up. "Come on ", Ash cajoles. "All the staff here takes breaks except you". Kas dumps the forms down and tells Ash "Let's talk". Ash nods happily.

Kas walks out from the staff door and Ash follows. There is a small empty staff room and Ash follows Kas into it. "" What do you want?", Kas asks Ash abruptly. "You have been totally in my face from the last two weeks. You spend almost the entire day here from the time you joined the library." Ash gives him an innocent look" I am trying to gain more knowledge". Kas snorts unbelievingly and then looks embarrassed as he adds "But, you watch me all day".

Ash widens his eyes dramatically and says in a put-on outraged manner "Kas, are you accusing me of stalking you"? Kas ignores the injured look which Ash gives him and tells him, "What's going on Ash? Why don't you tell me. You spend all your time at the library during my shifts. The staff tells me you never come when I am not on duty." Ash gives him a sly smile and prods him "You've been checking with the staff about me, haven't you"? Kas looks exasperated." It's a normal reaction to check on a potential stalker, isn't it". Ash raises his hands in mock surrender.

"OK, I am going to answer all your questions but can we do it over a cup of coffee"? That evening Kas watches Ash cautiously across the table at a nearby café. Ash is busy inhaling the aroma from the steaming cup set before him, oblivious to the suspicious man before him. "I am waiting", Kas raps his knuckles on the table. Ash opens his eyes and looks at him. Gone is the lazy camaraderie and a serious quiet expression comes on his face. "I am an orphan, studied and grew up in a boarding school, no siblings, no friends and no close relatives to speak of. My parents died young, left a trust fund for me which was executed by a family lawyer. The family lawyer was the closest relative as such I had. 

I came to the library just to kill time, I really liked how simple and kind you seemed to be and for the first time in years, I wanted to make a friend. So, I have just been hanging around the library hoping you want to be friends with me" The entire explanation is given by Ash without hesitation or pause. He looks straight at Kas but Kas notices the tension in his face as though he is afraid Kas will reject him.

Kas sighs and looks at the youth before him. Then he stretches out his hand and tells Ash "Welcome to my world". Ash looks surprised at the easy acceptance and his face breaks out into a delighted smile. There is sound of cutlery falling and Kas turns to see the young waitress who was clearing a table nearby staring at Ash in admiration. Kas laughs and tells Ash "I don't know about friends buddy, but if you need a girlfriend, there is a crazy waiting line for you". Ash smiles scratching his head awkwardly, embarrassed.

A week later, Kas is at the counter, thinking of what he has learned about Ash's life. Ash lives alone in a fancy apartment building not far from Kas. He is a graduate and has a healthy trust fund and investments. He has spent most of him adult life travelling. He doesn't have any special memories or moments to share neither any trauma or grief. His life is seemingly like a straight road with no bumps or detours. There is a sudden squeal and Kas looks up, startled. There is another shriek and the library has suddenly become noisy. Ash is walking towards him in a black bike leather jacket and jeans, black gloves and a helmet in hand. The girls are going berserk. 

Kas speaks into the system mike, "Silence Please". Ash settles the helmet on the counter." Let me give you a ride home today". Kas shoos him away. An hour later, as Kas exits the building with Ash, he suddenly stops and mutters under his breath "I've never been on a motorbike before". He looks down at his feet embarrassed. A grown man of 22 years who has never been on a bike before. "What was that?", Ash asks him obviously not having heard Kas. "Nothing, let's go" Kas hurriedly tells him. "Wait here, I'll just get our ride", Ash tells him cheerfully and runs off giving Kas the helmet. Kas stands there in dread. He feels fearful and ashamed as he stares at the gleaming black helmet complete with red and yellow flames painted on it. "Let's go", Ash yells. Kas looks up cautiously and suddenly bursts into laughter as he sees Ash on a small yellow scooter waiting for him.