for when it rains

lines of blue.

for when you think things won't get better;

June 17, 2015

imagine. your mom gives you a blue bracelet. it's made of strings and in the middle it's fastened together with a silver heart. it's beautiful.

imagine. blue skies are painted all over the sky, and he's next to you and he's not even smiling and you want to cry. your shirt is blue so you could cry and it wouldn't even show.

imagine. her eyes are two brilliant cornflowers shadowed with dark lashes. you can't even breathe because she is so breathtaking, and her lips must be soft. you want to know if they're soft.

imagine. you're at a funeral and your dress is black, and everyone is in black, and your heart feels black. but she wore blue, bright, sticking out like a sore thumb. you want to scream at her, because how could she be wearing such a happy outfit when your mother was about to be lowered into the ground.

imagine. your daughter wants the periwinkle rubber bands for her pigtails. she screams when you tell her that you're all out of that color. you sit on the floor, holding her, crying with her, holding her. her hair is soft when you run your fingers through it and you think: maybe it would be better left down.

imagine. the neighbors have a pool and it's dark. the water is heavenly and you can smell the chlorine through your open window. you know they have a son and you still sneak into it in your skimpiest bikini. the red fabric stands out against the blue waters, and just like you knew he would, the son catches you in the water. he doesn't tell his parents, he joins you, except his swimsuit is not red it's invisible and you've never felt more alive.

imagine. your driving down a long road. it's so long and you think it may never end. your best friend is in the drivers seat. she asks you to answer her text, and you see that it's from the boy she likes and you tell repeat the sugary things he said, and she grins and grins and grins. you both wear matching smiles, like twins. her jeans are blue and so is her spirit.

imagine. you're happy. you're so happy. you're in a wedding dress that's white, but your wrist has lines of blue. your mother can't be there, but a piece of her lies in your "something blue" that is fastened on your left wrist. your smile is wide, and your tears are happy. you're brilliant. you're beautiful. you're loved. you're blue.