brat // bang chan

chapter thirty-nine

home, bittersweet home

lee miyeon

"make sure you give these to mom, you know how much she loves authentic korean skincare." felix states as he places a bag full of skincare goodies in my hand. i chuckle at him, shoving the bag into my backpack.

"i got it." i tell him.

"and say hi to dad for me, tell them i'll be home soon."

"a month right?" i question, trying to remember when the australia dates of their world tour was.

"ish." he nods, pulling me into a tight hug shortly after. "and make sure you call me every night." he adds in a whisper, squeezing me tightly in his arms. i chuckle, hugging him back with just as much force.

"i will, don't worry."

"i love you." he pouts, pulling away from the hug.

"i love you too, lix." i smile warmly at him, patting his shoulder.

"send me beach pictures! i need some painting inspo." hyunjin steps up next, pulling me into a hug of his own.

"as if you need any help knowing how to paint something." i chuckle, hugging him back.

"it's not about that, it's about capturing the vibe." he retorts.

"yeah, okay." i nod. "i'll send you pictures."

"you wouldn't happen to have a big bad wolf handbook, would you?" jisung jokes as he steps up next. i roll my eyes with a chuckle.

"i'm afraid i'm no longer qualified to handle him." i shrug.

"it's gonna be so weird without you around here." he pouts, pulling me into a light hug.

"you'll see me again before you know it."

"i hope you don't mind, but i'm taking your bed." changbin pushes jisung to the side, earning a glare from the younger.

"it was yours before it was mine." i laugh at him, recalling how he moved into hyunjin's room to let me stay with felix. he laughs, giving me a quick fist bump before moving to the side for the next member.

"i'm mostly upset that we won't have anyone with the guts to say rude shit to our manager." seungmin pouts. i chuckle.

"you're way more sassy than i am, i think you'd be good at it." i tell him.

"i could get fired." he shakes his head.

"fire the main vocalist? i think they'd get a new manager before they fired you." i laugh, patting him on the shoulder.

"hm, you're right..." he nods.

"great, you gave him ideas." jeongin rolls his eyes as he steps up next to seungmin.

"stays would love to see savage seungmin." i tell him with a smirk.

"i'll be sure to call you when he inevitably gets in trouble for it." jeongin laughs.

"i'll be on the lookout for your call." i joke back.

"alright, my turn." minho comes up, pushing the maknaes to the side. and to my surprise, he pulls me into a hug. "thanks for putting up with us for as long as you did." he whispers. i laugh slightly, hugging him back.

"it was my pleasure... kind of."

"i hope you get what you're looking for out of this trip." he releases me, gently ruffling my hair. i scoff, backing away from the action to fix my hair. "you can always call me if you need me." he adds.

"thank you, minho." i smile warmly at him. i knew he was one of the most caring members, but it wasn't often that i got to see this side of him.

"of course. and i'll keep an eye on chan, so you don't have to even think about him while you're gone." he adds, whispering so that only i could hear. it was clear that a few of the members were a little annoyed with chan for pushing me away, but i never wanted any bad blood between them. minho's words reassured me that the group would be okay, and i knew it was true. their bond was strong, and everyone would be able to move past this, as would i.

i half hoped that chan would show up to say goodbye, since the guys had told him where we were going. he gave an excuse as to why he couldn't come, but a small part of me was hoping he still would. i could tell minho was trying to distract me from the fact that he didn't end up coming, and i was grateful for that.

"don't tell hyunjin, but you're my favorite." i whisper back to him with a slight chuckle.

"i know." he smirks jokingly. "now go get on that plane, and come back with a tan, your freckles are almost all gone." he chuckles, rubbing his thumb across my cheek. i roll my eyes, pushing his hand away.

"yeah, yeah." the sound of my flight being called over the intercom gathers everyone's attention, all of their eyes landing on me.

"go on before felix tries to climb into one of your suitcases." hyunjin jokes, slinging an arm around me.

"okay," i huff, gathering my bags in hand. "i'll see you guys soon." i wave to all of them, felix running up to give me one last bone crushing hug. as i start the walk to board my plane, i make the conscious decision to not look back, afraid that i would change my mind, and not be able to go through with it. it seemed a little dramatic to leave the country over one person, but it felt so much more than that. i felt like i had lost myself. it sucked that i had to leave everyone, but it was the only way.

of course, i couldn't help but look back at the group from my peripherals as i turned a corner. all of them still standing there, eyes on me, making sure i got to my gate safely. my heart warmed knowing that i always had them by my side, but the feeling was quickly replaced with pain because,

i could have sworn i saw chan running up to the group just before i turned the corner.

i had to fight every urge to not run back, i knew i would miss my flight if i did. chan had the opportunity to say goodbye, and he missed it. i couldn't keep giving into him, i wouldnt.

so i muster up all of my strength and courage, and i board the flight.

back home to australia.