Andante

6

For as long as I can remember, I've been the go-to for the people in my life, to be the problem solver, the shoulder to cry on, the comfort when you don't feel good or you're sick. I've been there for everyone and always paid attention to those around me just in case something is wrong and they don't say.

In my marriage and family, I was that person too, looking after the kids when they're sick or struggling with homework. Making sure my husband had everything he needed for work, chasing him down the road when he forgot his lunch or even the small things like making sure he drank enough water or took the right vitamins. I think some of that was what led to the decline of our relationship, I eventually ran out of steam and ran out of room for him since he seemed to have very little for me.

When my brother has had relationship trouble or my mam can't figure out the new remote, I'm the one they call because Charlotte will know, Charlotte will fix it, and I do. Don't get me wrong, I am happy to be there for people, giving to the people I love and care about makes me feel good and it makes them happy too, it's nice to be able to fix people's troubles. Lately, though, I have very little to give to people, my patience is low, my social battery is in the toilet and my tolerance for small-minded and gossipy parents has hit rock bottom.

I was normally quite calm when it came to the parents, and they had such a unique way of finding trouble, but between the lack of sleep, my inability to express myself and my confusion regarding Mia, my gentleness was wearing thin. I could feel it growing in my chest like a hot bubble, just growing and growing, waiting to burst and I wasn't sure how much more I could take. I felt alone in my home, alone in my mind and alone because it didn't seem like anyone really cared to find out what was wrong, they had all made comments about my behaviour but nobody had really pulled me aside and asked me the hard questions.

Today was as quiet as it could have been and I kept myself busy enough to make the time tick by, Marjorie had come back so that was a bonus, I didn't have to deal with Mia every day. It was one of those days where I wanted to curl up in my bedroom and ignore everyone and everything, I was losing my ability to care.

"Hello!" I hear a voice behind me and turn to see a parent smiling brightly at me.

"Oh, good evening! Tabitha, your mummy is here!" I call after the little girl who sprints to get her things.

"Oh it's not just me tonight," She says and I watch as the little girl's father walks through the door.

"Look Tabitha, your daddy's here!" I say and watch as her face lights up with excitement. I face the parents as the smile fades from her mother's face and the energy shifts quickly.

"Do you want to show your pictures to your mummy and daddy?" I ask as the little girl sprints over. I hear a huff and look up to see a look of disgust plastered across her mother's face.

"Has she had a good day?" Her mother asks, her voice flatter than when she arrived.

"Oh, she's had a great day!" I say, wondering why I felt nervous all of a sudden.

"Okay great, bye then" She says bluntly and drags her daughter out of the room. The day was finally over, with the last child gone and the room cleaned thanks to Carly. I make my way down the corridor was I hear my name come from the office.

"Marjorie? Did you just call me?" I stick my head in the door. Marjorie turns in her chair and smiles sympathetically at me. That usually means a complaint has been made. Marjorie's face gives everything away before her mouth can catch up.

"Yes my love, right, well, Tabitha's parents," She says, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Have made a complaint, well specifically her mum,"

"Oh?" I say, something in my gut told me this was coming but god only knows why.

"She reckons you were flirting with Dad," She says and I internally groan.

"Yeah I don't need any more information, I can assure you I was not," I say and Marjorie throws her hands up.

"Oh don't worry, I know that, I even told her that you're a happily married woman," She says and my heart drops into my stomach like a ton of bricks. Suddenly my mind felt very loud.

"Right," Is all I could manage to say.

"Anyway, she said you shouldn't be calling him daddy," She says with air quotes.

"Did she have a problem with me calling her mummy?" I ask, that hot bubble growing in my chest.

"She didn't say anything about that but then again she was just solely focused on you flirting with Dad,"

"Right well I won't call them mummy and daddy anymore," I say and turn and leave. I knew I wasn't capable of continuing that conversation without bursting and I certainly wasn't in the mood to debate the issues of a woman who was very clearly insecure. I hear Marjorie's voice but I have no idea what she says because my head is pounding, my pulse taking over my ears.

I head straight home and lock the door behind me. Not bothering to eat, I take a quick shower and head to bed. I hoped that long sleep would take dull the hot ache in my chest.