Autumn Kiss 💋🍁 || Criston Cole

018• THREE LETTER WORDS

Once Rheanyra was out of sight, Alicent collected herself as best she could and then returned to the castle, Ser Criston close behind.

He studied her troubled face as her head darted around nervously, curiosity dogging him more and more with every step. Criston could barely contain himself to ask what had just happened as soon as the door shut behind them.

Within her chambers, Criston Cole asked "Your Grace, what did she want with you? What has she asked?"

Alicent was slow to reply, taking to her chair and sprawling in fatigue.

"Rhaenyra has told me that in return for allowing her to take the Iron Throne, she shall assure my children's safety and their place at court shall remain unaltered as well as married into her family…" Alicent relays the proposal.

Ser Criston's eyes darted around the room as he took in her words. "What? And you agreed to this? What will your family say? With your father unable to claim her life, he will be beside himself! He will raise your house and his allies to war!" He said in disbelief.

Alicent then turned towards him "I did. I just could not stand there and haggle anymore, not with her. Father and his schemes can wait. "

"I…understand to an extent, my Queen. I could tell she was seeming to bury you in words, Rhaenyra does indeed love to talk and talk. And in such grave circumstances as well it's…without question a great deal to handle. You are well within your rights to be overwhelmed." Ser Criston remarked.

If only he knew what Rheanyra had spoken about the two of them.

"But…of course, Rhaenyra saved the worst to the last, she had to perturb me, she just had to….She has also said that she knows we have…some sort of romantic attraction and that we're having an affair." Alicent states carefully.

Ser Criston ceased for a moment to even breathe, his chest grew heavy and tight and his jaw grew slack without the words to speak. He panicked internally as it seemed the emotions he had taken so much pain to conceal and deny had been found out. He backed away towards the balcony, hoping the open air would unfold the knot inside his gut.

Alicent began to approach "Ser Criston…is it possible I'd been in love all this time and been so foolish as to not recognize it?" She spoke almost at a whisper.

Criston wrestled with the thought, so full of anxiety the felt as if his throat would be crushed from within, until he chose to do battle with himself no longer. "It seems to me…that it is so, Your Grace. I must confess, I fear I have long known but dared not speak it. It has been painfully inescapable for me. You're transfixing to me, I just…could not dishonor myself by saying so."

It was hard to admit, hard to hear with how shocking it was to realize. And yet a relief for them both as well.

What Alicent had thought was cause for great distress somehow left her somewhat happy. The state of the kingdom in the balance and this conversation made her…happy.

Was she really allowed to be in the position of guiding a kingdom through succession and yet giddy over this comparatively trifling matter? Why not? Why not temper the misery of today with something for her own, some bit of welcome discovery amongst this mire?

Alicent stood in front of him now and slowly wrapped her arms around his waist. Then moved his hands to chest level, uneasy at her touch. "Ser Criston even though we've shared my bed, it has been necessary for me to hold my tongue and be silent for years now on so many matters, I do not wish it any longer. I have been growing to love you for so long I cannot even know when it began. You're a gift to me from the Mother herself. You have proven a father to my children even better than their own and more…kind and gentle and loving than my own husband. I did have feelings for you, I should have known long ago that you had won my heart and secured my love, one that I was blind to. Never in my life have I felt as cared for as with you, seen as a person rather than an object or a tool. I can only hope you did it, some of it, because you love me deeply also." Her honey brown orbs were on the verge of tears.

Ser Criston nodded as Alicent's touch felt as if there were a storm across his body driving his legs and arms to weakness "I have, my Queen, I have done this because I love you. All of it."

It was then his arms mimicked hers and he had her by the waist. His growing look of amazed adoration was enough to cause her to blush. "It's not only that you are transfixingly beautiful, nothing so mean as simply that, your voice, coming to know your mind, your smile, and your laugh and just speaking to you, all of it made holding my feelings within more difficult than any ordeal I've faced." Ser Criston confessed.

Alicent looked away, his words straining belief "You're…you're merely saying that…do you truly feel so deeply for me? You do not have to tell me you love me if it is not so."

"I've never spoken so earnestly before, my Queen." Ser Criston pulls her to his chest.

Alicent looked up at him, red in the face still, eyes shimmering as tears came forth but not quite to the point of crying. "I love you."

Ser Criston replied in kind "I love you too."

Having made plain the truth, they kissed as the morning sun crested over the city and painted them in a vibrant orange glow.

At that moment, the pair could almost feel a great mountainous mass of fear, anger, sadness, and stress falling into nothingness. If the toils of this life were not banished permanently, they could a least be set aside for now. In this moment, a great wave of relief.

"Enough time has been wasted, Ser Criston, be mine, be truly mine" she pleaded.

"Always, my Queen, never again will I be anything else" he smiled widely, happier than ever in his life. It was no trick, no illusion, she loved him too. Despite all fear, this was no fantasy, but real as could be. Alicent Hightower was finally his.

•••••••••
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