Sayonara

August 1, 2021 many sunset had passed now. I have never admired someone this bad before so I don't know how to act, I was confused, do I like him? Is this just admiration? But deep inside I knew the answer. As the time passed we've gotten more comfortable with each other, closer to each other. As we prepared to go to the garden he put his arms around me, I never knew how to react to this kind of gesture and yet I kept wanting it.
As we are about to experience another sunset he layed his head, not on the tree, but in my lap. As I play with his hair and turned on a song, our song, "Mr. Lover man" he fell asleep in my lap.
August 8, 2021 my time here in the Philippines is coming to an end, I should've applied for a longer time, I was mad at myself for applying for a short amount of time but also for not confessing my feelings to him, I am now running out of time. I gave so many signs, I wondered if he noticed. As he waited for me to finish packing my school bag I told him I couldn't go to the garden today "why is that?" He says sounding disappointed "I need to prepare something, I'll make it up to you I promise" I said smiling. I needed to start packing my things now for I am leaving soon, I haven't told him yet, I never got the Chance and courage too. I was leaving on August 12 , I was mad for that it is his birthday on that day.
August 11, 2021 We spent another sunset together, our last sunset together.
I was planning on telling him that I am leaving soon "Carl? I have something to say" I said while fixing my hair "what?" He says while patting and destroying my hair again. I was about to tell him but instead I stopped halfway through "I am leav— advance happy birthday" I said instead. We watched the sun go down, I watched the sun go down knowing that this was our last sunset together.
August 12, 2024 The time has come now, as I check my luggage to see if I have packed all my things, I wanted to call him and say goodbye but I couldn't say the words like how he says everything effortlessly. I decided to go to the garden one last time and put my letter that I had made for him under the tree that gave us shade every time we watched the sunset together.

"Dear Carl
Carl—
You said we live in different worlds. But is that true?
We were born in different countries.
But we're friends. Isn't that what counts?
I'm really glad I came to the  Philippines. I met lots of people.
And more than anything, I met you.
You asked me over and over if you scared me. But I never feared you, not once. I adored you more than anything.
You're way smarter, bigger, and stronger than me. But I always felt like I had to protect you. I wonder what it is I wanted to protect you from.
"Sayonara”
That’s one Japanese word
I have taught you. Meaning good-bye.
Sayonara, Phillipines… Sayonara, Quezon City… But I’m not saying “Sayonara” to you, Carl. Because this isn’t good-bye. I know we’ll see each other again someday, no matter how far apart we are.
As  I prepare to return to Japan, where winter’s breath will once again wrap around me, I carry with me the echoes of our laughter and the memory of watching sunsets together.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was leaving. I'm not happy because I'm leaving you, the one and only friend I have, and perhaps my first love.

I hope you know that you're not alone. I'm by your side. My soul is always with you.

この人生で、あなたと一緒にもっと夕日を追いかけられたらいいのに、カール。"In this lifetime, I wish I could chase more sunsets with you, Carl."