An Imperfect Science | Ikemen Sengoku

Chapter 60

The moon hung low and full in the star-scattered sky, gently bathing the idyllic scenery before her in the faintest of light. In this isolated place, she was wrapped in a silence only occasionally interrupted by the noises of nocturnal creatures.

She sat on the front steps of the main building, watching all without seeing anything clearly, her fingers rippling gently through Mitsuhide's hair without conscious thought.

The kitsune lay next to her on the top step, his head on her lap, exactly where Ieyasu had gently placed him after he'd carried the taller man through the compound as if he weighed nothing at all. After he'd settled them, the doctor had examined Mitsuhide carefully, efficient as always, while she watched blankly. He had spoken to her before he'd gone to help Sasuke and company deal with the aftermath of their actions. But she didn't hear him. She was so dazed by the evidence of bloodshed everywhere they stepped that her brain had decided to just stop taking it in.

She waited, and she hardly noticed she was doing it or knew what she was waiting for, save for that familiar gnawing feeling of being on edge.

「Are you alright, Ness?」

It took a moment longer than it should have for Ness to register the question that came so patiently and softly from her right side. She turned her head and lifted her gaze, blinking. His posture was relaxed, as if he'd been sitting there for a while without her noticing. Those sharp green eyes narrowed as she stared at him. Am I alright? She nodded, silently, without really considering it.

Ieyasu made a little thoughtful noise, 「Do you want to talk about it?」

I don't even want to think about it.

She shook her head and dropped her gaze. He let out a sigh, but he didn't press her. She gently stroked the kitsune's hair. He was so pale, but he looked peaceful, so she clung to that. You're going to be okay... aren't you? If you're not, then...

Ieyasu sat in silence next to her. Then a hand slid over hers, arresting her movement, and all she could see was his warm fingers entwined with hers within the soft white strands of Mitsuhide's hair.

She opened her mouth and spoke without thinking or questioning herself.

「Ieyasu? I'm not...」she hesitated, 「I don't... I don't think I am alright.」

Ieyasu's thumb traced gently over hers, 「I know.」

Ness closed her eyes as his warm, calloused thumb drew over her skin, as if he was trying to draw something out of her with the reassuring touch of his hands. She felt as if all her emotions had been put on mute, only bearable at a safe distance.

「I...」she took a deep breath, 「I broke my promise.」

The doctor made a soft noise, sympathetic, but he held his tongue. The silence drew out, his hand over hers, and she tried to just sit with it but... When exactly did they both realise that the best way to interrogate me is to ask me nothing at all?

「I... I promised you that I'd never give in. I promised I would fight but then he was there and...」

Ness took a deep breath. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. She could feel her hand trembling beneath his, just like they'd shaken when she'd held the gun and failed to pull the trigger, and she let out a sigh.

「I thought it would be so simple. I promised you and...」she forced the words out,「... when I surrendered to him, I... I told myself that I was still fighting. That Mitsuhide would die if I didn't...」

Ieyasu's hand slipped over hers and her eyes opened, following the movement of his fingers as they swept through Mitsuhide's hair and over his cheek. His thumb traced a dark circle under the sleeping man's eye.