Ang dami nang nagbago.
Pero parang ang dami ring hindi nagbago.
When everything fails and crumbles, you rebuild. After you rebuild, you still go back to your core, your basics. As for us, we still dread basic hygiene practices such as brushing our teeth and taking a bath everyday. We still long to feel alive in the midst of emptiness. We still seek the closest thing to home.
What a shame, right?
Ang daming nagbago, nangyari pero may mga bagay talagang ganun pa rin. Tulad ng pangalan, pero sa kaso natin, marami na rin sila ngayon. You know them all.
I am back, I came back to you, I came back as you.
Matagal ka bang naghintay?
I was busy surviving, living the reality. Just enough to accumulate a couple of stories for inspiration, a couple of things to provoke my thoughts, sometimes creativity so I have something to write. Experience is still the best teacher, memories maybe are the best triggers, hindi lang ng trauma ngunit pati na rin ng mga ideya.
My memory recall is both awfully good and bad. Some memories are just hard to forget, they might linger forever. Some memories are so hard to remember, they might be important. You always help me remember and forget at the same time.
Maybe you are the real deal. It took so much from me just so I can come back. I almost didn't survive, I came back crawling, I came back bleeding, I came back begging. I died but you still waited for me.
It feels divine and holy to be writing this piece today, my birthday. Do we have the same one? Maybe.
Am I ready?
I can just fucking hope so, as usual. Just keep on giving life to these thoughts that will keep on pestering me until they have life as words. We even live in this day and age when we can freely share words in just a click.
What a blessing and maybe a curse at the same time. To our future works that may be beyond our comprehension, cheers!
