Soon but not too soon
Sorry but it is too soon
On the first day of May
I fell in love again
Time stopped
And it will stop again
The moment I recall
That very moment
I fell in love again
Soon but not too soon
Sorry but it is too soon
That I fell in love again...
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Last May, we had an unexpected milestone: impossible engagement. Not with a ring, but earrings. The following months were slow but now, it felt like a blur.
Being together has always been hard. Even though I kind of know already that it will always be that way, that it will even become harder along the way, I was still caught off guard when challenges came. I am reminded that I am still such a newbie in this lifetime.
Almost nothing beats experience and I was and still being reminded to learn that fact. That's his strength and advantage compared to me, years of experience. A lot of it.
Ups and downs. Assurance and doubts. Gratitude and disappointments. Presence and absence. New and old.
Almost everything all at once. It was our own battle, a battle again but a different yet the same one. And when the storm subsided, when the battle reached its conclusion, I was left with that one crucial question:
"Should I still continue this? Should I just call off this impossible engagement?"
I contemplated. With Boss, my mind, and my heart. What is the right thing to do at this point? What does my heart want?
Last May, we had an unexpected milestone: impossible engagement. Not with a ring, but earrings.
I've been wearing those earrings during special days. Until such time I decided to wear only one of them everyday, paired with another. The other earring was left alone in its box.
Until one day, I got the answer to my contemplation.
Last May, we had an unexpected milestone: impossible engagement. Not with a ring, but earrings.
The earring also looks nice as a ring, I can already imagine. I will ask him to convert it into one, and give it to me when the right time comes. The right time, when the engagement is not impossible anymore.
The time when our engagement is finally a reality, not a mere imagination and strong hope.
He was quite icky the moment I returned it. Telling me it was his gift for me, maybe he already has a trauma of me returning (or destroying) his gifts (lol!). But for me, maybe it is also a symbol of something else.
That this time, I won't just settle for what he can give. I wanted a ring so I asked him to give it, not just a regular one but out of something that holds an important meaning to me, to us. Well, maybe this is my kind of romantic.
And if...
And if this milestone stays impossible, if it will never turn into reality, it's okay.
It is okay.
What matters will always be that we did our best, we are doing so ever since.
For now, only the Boss knows. For everything that happens, I finally learned:
It is okay.
