"Dad? Are you okay?"
Pasimple kong pinahid ang kaunting luha. Lumingon ako kay Toto, pilit niya akong inaaninag dito sa madilim at malamig na balcony ng aming bahay.
"Of course! Do you need something?"
Ang bilis bilis ng panahon. Twenty one na siya ngayon, mas matangkad na rin siya sa akin.
"Mommy's asking po if I can help her prepare for Tito Ge's surprise birthday party tomorrow. Can I come?"
I smiled despite wanting to flinch.
"Oo naman! Pakisabi na rin kay Gerald, happy birthday..."
Rom looked surprised but he nodded. He asked me again if I am okay, I assured him that I am kaya't nilubayan niya na rin ako. I just smiled, mabuti na lang ay sa Mommy niya siya nagmana ng ugali kahit pa nga ako ang kamukha niya.
There is only one word I have whenever I think of Greece, my former wife: Regrets.
I lost her, I lost our precious little family. Mahal na mahal ko na pala siya pero hindi ko man lang naiparamdam sa kanya. Huli na ang lahat, sobra na ang mga naging sakripisyo at hinanakit niya kaya nang hingin niya ang kanyang kalayaan mula sa akin, sino ako para ipagdamot iyon?
Arranged marriage lang naman kami kung tutuusin. Parang parehas pa nga kaming napikot. But sometimes, we are such a fool for taking things for granted. An author said that every blessing ignored becomes a curse and it is true.
Our little family was the greatest blessing given to me but it had become a curse of regret to me. It's been hard but I have no one to blame but myself. It is all my fault.
I let the tears flow. I thought that time can and will heal everything but I guess, I am wrong. I just hope that I am a good father to Rom, despite being a bad husband to Greece back then. Greece is so happy with Gerald and their two kids now, I should too.
Ganito pala kasakit iyong one-sided love. Ganito pala yung pakiramdam ni Greece noon. Well, I loved her already back then but I realized it too late. They all told me that it's okay to move on, to love again, and even marry again so I can also have a family of my own again pero ayoko. I refused to.
This is my curse, my punishment I inflicted to myself for hurting the woman I love the most. I will die with it.
"Daddy..."
Sa lalim ng iniisip ko ay hindi ko na namalayan ang pagbabalik ni Rom. He sighed as he watched me wiping my tears off my face. I tried to laugh.
"Oh anak, may kailangan ka pa ba?"
He bit his lip before speaking.
"Mommy's asking... if you can come with me tomorrow. Kung hindi ka raw busy at kung gusto mo lang naman daw, Dad..."
Matagal na katahimikan ang bumalot sa amin.
Our co-parenting was successful but I won't even dare think that we are friends. I don't think I deserve it. Matapos ang lahat, I don't deserve anything from Greece. She's been nothing but kind, generous, and gracious throughout the years despite all that happened.
"I..."
Nilingon ako ni Rom. I sighed.
"You don't have to, Dad. It's okay! At whole day lang naman ako doon bukas, nakauwi na ako rito by evening..."
Sabi pa niya na parang batang paslit pa rin siyang kailangang bantayan. I smiled. Maybe it is indeed time to heal the wounds.
"I'll go. Pero susunod na lang ako, I have to buy a present for your Tito Gerald first tomorrow. Would that be okay?"
I will die with this curse. Might as well die with it with scars instead of wounds.
-----------------------------------------
Mother Story: https://www.wattpad.com/story/9717372-rome-and-greece
