The Tearsmith

Behind Glass

Love that is silent is the most difficult to touch,

but under the surface, it shineswith a sincere,

incredible immensity.

He held on as tightly as he could.

He wasn't hurting him enough.

Fingernails dug painfully into his supple skin, but Rigel didn't loosen his grip.

'I told you to give it me,' he hissed again, in that tone that always drove fear into everyone's hearts.

'No! It's mine!'

The other boy thrashed about like a wild dog. He tried to scratch him and push him away. Rigel pulled his hair violently, making him whine in pain and anger. He crushed him with all his strength.

'Give it me,' he snarled, furiously digging his nails into the boy's skin. 'Now!'

The other boy obeyed. He opened his fist and something fell to the floor. As soon as Rigel saw it at his feet, he let the boy go and pushed him away.

The boy tumbled to the ground, his fingers grasping at the dust. He shot Rigel a fierce but fearful look, then scrambled to his feet and ran away.

Short of breath and with scraped knees, Rigel bent to pick up what he had reclaimed.

The scratches were painful, but he didn't pay them any attention.All he needed was a glimpse of her from afar and he would no longer feel his knees burning.

And that evening, he saw her appear in the doorway of the dormitory. For the last few days, her hand hadn't stopped wiping away her constant tears.

All of a sudden, Nica lifted her eyes to her bed at the far end of the room and her girlish face lit up. Her shining smile made the whole world glow. Through the windows, Rigel watched her run to her bed and throw herself onto her pillow.

He watched her cuddling her caterpillar plushie, the only thing she had left to remind her of her parents. Rigel had noticed how threadbare and tattered it was. Its seams had burst during the tussle with the other boy, and its stuffing was poking out like a puff of foam.

But she just narrowed her eyes and smiled through a stream of tears.

She clutched it to her chest as if it was the most precious thing in the world.

Rigel watched her silently as she cuddled her little treasure. Stood there, hidden in a corner of the garden, immensely relieved, he felt buds blooming amongst all the thorns in his blackened heart.

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'How are you feeling?'

Curtains full of sun and soft light.

Anna was standing with her back to me. She asked the question with a unique grace.

Rigel was sitting at the table in front of her and just nodded without meeting her eyes. He had been off school for two days with the fever.

'Are you sure?' she asked softly.

Concerned, she brushed aside a lock of his hair, revealing the cut on his brow.

'Oh, Rigel...' she sighed with a hint of exasperation. 'How did this happen?'

Rigel looked sideways and didn't say a thing. There was a silence between them which I didn't understand and Anna didn't ask any other questions.

I didn't know why I lingered to watch them. Anna's behaviour pulled at my heart; I was entranced by her maternal care. But every time I saw her and Rigel speaking, I got the impression I was missing something.