The Tearsmith

Akrasia

The soul that snarls, hisses and scratches

Is usually the most vulnerable.

Violent and cruel.

That's how he was described.

He manipulated when he wanted to bewitch, and was terrible on the flipside.

Rigel would show me the blood on his hands, the scratches on his face, the hardness in his eyes when he was hurting someone. He snarled at me to stay away, while his dark, mocking smile seemed to dare me to do the opposite.

He was not a prince. He was a wolf. Maybe all wolves looked a little enchanting, sensitive and prince-like, or else Little Red Riding Hood wouldn't have fallen for it.

I knew I had to accept this.

There was no glimmer of light.

No hope.

Not with someone like Rigel.

Why couldn't I understand him?

'We're ready,' Norman called out. The day of departure had come too soon, and as I placed their luggage at the bottom of the stairs, I felt a strange and inexpressible sense of sadness.

I met Anna's gaze and realised that it was because I wouldn't see her again until late that evening.

I knew I was overly attached, but seeing them leaving gave me a strange sense of abandonment that made me feel like a little girl again.

'Will you be all right?' Anna worried. The idea of leaving us for a whole day concerned her, especially in this delicate stage of the adoption process. I knew she didn't think it was a good time to leave, but I had reassured her that we'd see each other again that evening and that we'd still be here when she got back.

'We'll call you when we land.' She rearranged her scarf and I nodded, trying to smile. Rigel was standing just a short distance behind me.

'Remember to feed Klaus,' Norman reminded us and, despite everything, I lit up. I looked uneasily down at the cat, who glared at me before showing us his butt and strutting away.

Anna squeezed Rigel's shoulder and looked at me. She smiled and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.

'See you this evening,' she said tenderly.

I stood there close to the stairs as they headed towards the door, and waved goodbye as they left.

The sound of the door locking echoed through the silent house.

Soon, I heard footsteps behind me. I only just had time to notice Rigel slipping upstairs. He had left without even deigning to spare me a glance.

I stared at where he had been for a moment, before turning around. I looked at the front door and let out a small sigh.

They'd be back soon...

I waited in the hall, as if they could reappear at any moment. I found myself sitting cross-legged on the floor, with no idea how I'd got there. I tapped my fingers along a groove in the wooden floor, and wondered where Klaus had got to.

I looked towards the living room and found him cleaning himself in the centre of the rug. His little head kept bobbing up and down and I couldn't help but find him cute.

Maybe he wanted to play?

I crouched down and peered around the doorframe at him. Then, without letting him see me, I approached him on all fours.

He lowered his paw and turned to look at me. I immediately froze, staring at him like a little sphinx. He gave me an irritated look, his tail flicking from side to side.