Constellations | A.I.

7 - describing

I dedicate each chapter to one specific writer who either inspires my writing and/or has written incredible books. This goes to sugarplumluke because your stories were some of my very first favorites and they're very memorable, not to mention emotional. You're an amazing writer with a creative mind, and please keep writing for a long time.

-Ashton-

Describing people was always something I liked doing, but never verbally. And I don't mean just using adjectives and stuff, I saw images when I thought of them. I associated their beings with things I could physically see or feel. I would imagine them as non-living things, what they represented in my mind.

For example, I was wildfires, the beginning of rain, sparklers, midnight conversations, laughter, crying, full moons. That's how I imagined myself. I was unpredictable and diverse.

Em was amazing. She was warm hugs, red lips, honey, flower fields, happy photographs, nostalgia, soft hair, velvet. She was beautiful, inviting, safe. She was my favorite image, my favorite dream, my favorite reality.

I had come to the realization upon thinking about what her images were that I had feelings for her, even though it was pointless and we really didn't know each other long enough. I knew this wasn't the first time I'd felt so strongly towards her, but it was the first time I'd admitted it.

I remembered our conversation about limitless love and I knew it was possible for feelings like that to surface so early, but I also knew I had to force the feeling away. I was still terrified of falling and I knew she would be scared of catching me. Once she learned about all the baggage I had, she'd probably run away and I needed to realize that.

So I decided that even though I couldn't deny my feelings, I could sure hide them. I was conveniently great at hiding things.

But in the meantime, my craving to be around her simply remained in my mind, and instead of pushing it away, I decided to embrace it. I had promised that I'd text her the night before, after getting back from going to the shrink, even though I'd left out the details as to where I'd gone off to, and I did just that.

She replied relatively quickly, telling me that it was fine to come over so I set off on the way to her temporary home, my right hand clutching a bag of Taco Bell, earbuds threaded under my hoodie as I walked along casually.

Emilie's medium length hair was messily framing her face, soft waves sweeping through the thick locks. Her face was bare, free of any trace of makeup, and she was still stunningly beautiful in the simplest way possible. A loose shirt hung off of her small shoulders, almost falling past her shorts. I could tell by the way she bit her bottom lip, her left hand gripping her right arm tightly, her legs crossing over each other at the calves, that she wasn't extremely comfortable to look such a way around me.

"I'm sorry, I was cleaning when you texted me and didn't bother to change or anything," Em mumbled, still standing in the doorway, "and I must warn you that this house is extremely cheap and old, and I was apprehensive to even show it to you. It's kind of embarrassing."

"I don't think you've ever looked better," I smoothly said, much to my surprise, and smiled at the ground upon seeing her flushed cheeks, "and I don't mind about the house, honestly. I get your situation, and it doesn't matter anyway."

She nodded giving me a small smile and moved aside, allowing me to finally enter the living room. The house wasn't necessarily trashy looking; in fact it was kind of cute and I could imagine Em living in it easily. It was small but cozy, and I could tell she'd put some work into making it look better.