Constellations | A.I.

9 - befriending

I dedicate each chapter to one specific writer who either inspires my writing and/or has written incredible books. This goes to fistinglarry because you write amazingly mature and beautifully written pieces of work, especially Primrose. I really love your books, and please keep up the great writing.

-Emilie-

After Ashton and I had left that night, he took me to the woods again. He wanted to show me the blood moon, which was cool and all, but he seemed distant. Of course, I didn't question him and just let him hold me in his arms while we sat in the tree. Hardly any words were shared, but the noises of the night were enough to keep me satisfied.

The next morning, Lilly kept her promise to take me somewhere. We went shopping, and apparently my neutral attitude didn't really satisfy her, so she decided to spice things up by picking out clothes for me and making me try them on. At first, I thought it was embarrassing, my immediate reaction being to cover myself when I stepped out to show her because I felt like everyone was staring. But Lilly was the opposite of me, and therefore by the end of trying things on at that store, I had a newfound confidence thanks to her.

The store I was most apprehensive about was the cliché Victoria's Secret. I'd never been a fan of the image it gave off. To me, it had always seemed like it was for the more wealthy, beautiful, skinny girls, none of which described me. I despised the pictures of pretty girls with petite bodies and perfect smiles that surrounded me, even though I knew deep down I just simply envied them. But I allowed Lilly to drag me in there with an artificial smile plastered on my face.

"These will come in handy," Lilly pulled out a pair of lace underwear from a big box at the front, swinging them in front of my face while she grinned. I snatched them out of her hand, laughing and shaking my head, "Oh, c'mon, Emilie. Ashton would love these-"

I clamped a hand over her mouth, my face heating up at the thought of Ashton reacting to the lingerie. I bit my lip, turning away from her and making my way to the closest item which, to my genuine joy, was actually just a plain red bra.

"I'd rather buy this," I said, holding up the bra, pretending I didn't see her roll her eyes at my conservativeness. She shook her head, gently taking it from my hands and placing it back on the rack. I sighed, letting my shoulders drop.

"I'm not good at this," I shrugged, motioning to the numerous items of under garments all around me, and sat down, "because I've never had a reason to be. I don't think I'll ever need this anyway."

"You mean you don't think you and Ashton will have sex? You don't think you'll ever do anything sexual with him?" Lilly sat down next to me, placing an arm around me. I hung my head, shrugging again.

"I can't really imagine it. I-I mean it's not that I don't want to, but I don't think he'd, uh, want me," I stuttered out, my hair thankfully hiding my embarrassment. Involuntary images of Ashton and I filled my head, my brain temporarily only focused on the roughness of his fingers, his warm touch, his soft hair-

"It's alright to want that, Em. You're both old enough to know what you want, and I'm sure when - or if - the time is right, you'll both know," Lilly softly said, and I looked up to her to see her smiling. I placed my arms around her hesitantly, thankful to have her as a new friend.

"And until then," She began again, picking up the same pair of purple lace underwear from earlier, "you can keep these just in case."

"Or not!" I exclaimed, reaching out to grab them from her but she stood up quickly, my arm not long enough to reach them. We both laughed and I stood up, shaking my head at her. We shopped around for a while longer, and after a while, she had convinced me to invest in a new black bra, both of us compromising when I settled on a plain cotton one instead of the suggested lace one. By the end of the day, we left the mall with seven bags between the two of us.