DEV(i)

15. Decisions~

 He ran a hand through his hair, his fingers trembling slightly. He didn't hate her for it—he could never hate her. But it broke him, every single time she smiled at him like he was the only one she trusted, the only one she could rely on, while her heart belonged to someone else.

Dev had never felt like this before. It wasn't in his nature, or so he had always thought. But tonight, something inside him broke wide open. As the old diary slipped from his hands and hit the floor with a soft thud, he felt his legs give way. He collapsed to his knees, his breath hitching in his chest as the first tear escaped, followed by another, and then another, until his face was wet, and his body shook with the force of his sobs.

He didn't even recognize himself in this moment—this raw, vulnerable version of him who had lost control. For so long, he had held everything in, locking his emotions away behind walls of indifference and sarcasm, playing the role of the unbothered best friend. He had mastered it—until now.

As he knelt there on the cold floor, his head hung low, the past few years flooded his mind. He could see her so clearly—the 19-year-old girl who had stumbled into his life, frantic for help with her English notes, overwhelmed with the pressure of her studies. She had been so young then, so full of life and ambition. Dev had never imagined that the girl who once came to him for something as simple as notes would end up meaning so much to him, that she would occupy a space in his heart he hadn't even known existed.

He had watched her grow, blossom into the confident, beautiful woman she was now. He had been there for her every step of the way, guiding her, cheering her on, even when she didn't realize it. And somewhere along the way, he had fallen for her, hard. But it was never the right time, never the right situation.

The tears came harder as the reality of her future hit him like a punch to the gut. She was going to get married. Not just to any man, but to someone she didn't even love. Not because she wanted to, but because it was what her parents expected of her. The thought of her walking down the aisle, forcing a smile, resigning herself to a life with someone she didn't choose... it was unbearable.

It wasn't the idea of her marrying that hurt the most—it was the thought of her sacrificing her happiness, of her giving up on what she truly wanted because of the weight of family expectations. Dev had always known she was too kind, too selfless for her own good. She would do it, he realized. She would marry this man if it meant keeping her parents happy, even if it killed a part of her inside. And that man, was himself. And if it happened he would be the reason for the regret all her life, and he has to sit by and watch her face it. 

And that's what broke him.

For years, he had been the silent protector, the one who stood on the sidelines, always watching, always waiting, never asking for anything in return. But now, as the weight of it all came crashing down on him, he realized that he had been wrong. He had been waiting for something that was never going to happen unless he did something about it.

Wiping at his face, his chest still heaving from the sobs, Dev's mind shifted. Not going to the family meeting tomorrow—it suddenly seemed like the worst thing he could do. If he didn't show up, it would only make things easier for her to go through with this. It would be him stepping aside, letting her life unravel in a way she didn't deserve.

No. He couldn't do that.

If there was one thing he could still do for her, it was to be there. To help her see that she didn't have to go through with this. That she still had a choice. That she didn't have to marry him. He had been her rock all these years; he couldn't abandon her now, not when she needed him the most.

Dev pushed himself up from the floor, his knees aching from the sudden movement. He stood there, staring at the diary on the ground, the pages full of old secrets, the sketches of her face, the poems he'd written but never shared. It had all been for her. And he'd never had the courage to tell her.

But tomorrow, he wouldn't let her make this decision alone. He'd go to the meeting, and he'd deny it. He'd make sure she knew that she didn't have to marry him if she didn't want to. He would help her choose her own path, even if that path didn't include him.

Because, at the end of the day, that's what love was, wasn't it? Wanting what was best for someone, even if it meant letting them go.

This time, he would act and not just listen.

Feeling utterly defeated and overwhelmed throughout the night, Dev woke up early the next morning, the weight of the previous night's revelations pressing heavily on him. He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, the dread of facing the family meeting with Srinika clouding his thoughts. Desperate for guidance, he reached for his phone and dialed his mother's number, his fingers trembling with anxiety. Each ring seemed to stretch into eternity as he waited for her voice, his heart pounding in his chest.

"Hello?" his mother's voice finally came through, warm and filled with concern. It was a soothing contrast to the turmoil inside him.

"Maa," Dev began, his voice cracking under the strain, "I... I don't know what to do. I'm completely at a loss. I can't face this family meeting with Srinika. It feels like it's more than I can handle."

There was a brief silence on the other end, and Dev could almost sense his mother gathering her thoughts. "Oh, Dev," she said softly, a hint of relief in her voice. "I'm so glad you called. I was hoping we could talk about this."

His mother's voice was calm and measured as she responded. "Dev, I understand how hard this situation is for you, but I genuinely believe that facing it head-on is the best course of action. Avoiding it won't make the problem disappear. You need to confront your feelings and have an honest conversation with Srinika."

Dev sighed deeply, torn between his fear of confrontation and his mother's sensible advice. "But Maa," he protested, "I'm just not ready for this. It's happening so fast."

Her voice softened with understanding. "I know it's difficult, Dev, but sometimes the hardest decisions lead to the most significant growth. Trust me, facing this challenge will only make you stronger."

Dev paused, absorbing her words. Despite his reluctance, he couldn't ignore the wisdom in her advice. After a moment, he sighed again, this time with resignation. "Okay, Maa," he said, his voice a mix of defeat and determination. "I'll go."

His mother's relief was palpable. "I'm proud of you, Dev. Remember, I'm always here for you, no matter what. And you both can sort it out. If you don't want this for her, we'll understand. But we cant deny a serious request can we? The least we can do is try. It's about a future to settle. And it's not just about her- you are of age too Dev-"

With a newfound sense of resolve, Dev thanked his mother and ended the call. As he set the phone down, a whirlwind of emotions—apprehension and fear—swirled within him...

~.~

To be continued...