You Look Like Taylor Swift

Chapter 7

TAYLOR'S POV

"Do you get panic attacks a lot?" I ask after a second.

"It's not a panic attack," Logan says defiantly. I sigh.

"Logan, I love you, but you can't deny that," I say. Logan looks down.

"Almost everyday," I hear Logan whisper.

"What?" I ask.

"The panic attacks? Almost everyday."

"Princess, that's a lot, and we still have to talk about what you told me," I say. Logan looks away and starts to cry. "Logan?" I ask pulling her chin towards me again.

"I can't Mom," Logan says.

"Tell me Logan, I'm right here for you," I say. Logan nods and wipes away tears.

"Um, I've been in foster care since I was a baby, in the first house I was in, it was really hard. I was 5 years old and the parents forced me to be like their maid, and cook and everything. That house wasn't that bad. I stayed there for 2 years. The next house I stayed in I had just turned 8, that house was the first house that started to hurt me. They watched me for 2 ½ years. I was 10 at the next house, that house was the one I've been in for awhile. I don't know. I shouldn't say," Logan says.

"Logan princess, you're doing great. It's okay, keep going," I say, rubbing her back.

"Please don't tell anyone. Please Tay," Logan says. I sigh and nod. "Um, at this house, they've touched me a lot more. They beat me a lot, or just tell me I'm fat or ugly. Force me to starve myself, I don't know. It sucks, but that's just my life, I've kinda gotten used to it." Logan shrugs. I wrap my arms around her.

"You shouldn't have to be used to it," I say. "What about when you self harm? How long has that been going on?" Logan pulls her legs to her chest and sighs.

"Um, for like 6 years." Logan mumbles.

"What?" I ask.

"It's been 6 years, I started when I was 9 years old. I took the razor from my foster parents house and did it on my thighs or my arms, whichever I thought of first. More recently it's been my thighs. I didn't mean to do what I did tonight." Logan says.

"Logan, I'm so sorry," I say. Logan shrugs.

"I don't want to die Tay. At least not until I meet my mom and dad," Logan says.
"We can take a DNA test when you get better. Right now we need to focus on your recovery. What about your eating challenges?" I ask.

"I don't know. My most recent foster family always told me I was fat and ugly, so I thought I should get skinnier. Then I saw every other girl on instagram or tiktok and knew I had to be like them. I think that if I'm skinnier I'll be prettier and more people will love me," Logan says.

"I'm sorry princess. You are so gorgeous and so pretty. You don't need to be comparing yourself to the other girls. Sure they may be tiktok famous, but look at yourself Logan. Your are so beautiful, on the inside and out. You don't need to be them. I don't want you to be them. I want you to be you. I want you to be happy, and to be happy, you have to be healthy. You're 15 years old Logan, you're still young, you shouldn't have to deal with this. It's hard, dealing with an eating disorder, self harm, it's all hard. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You have no idea how much you mean to me, even if I just met you, whether you are my daughter or not, I want you to be healthy and happy," I say. Logan starts to cry and wraps her arms around my neck.