The Chef's Sick Mate (Book 17 of the Regal Eclipse Pack Series)

Chapter 7

As soon as her father was gone, Gen laid her head down on the table, resting it on her folded arms. She was completely exhausted, and the thought of walking into her bedroom now seemed like too much effort. Way too much effort. She'd just stay here for now.

She loved seeing her father, but she was hitting the point anymore where everything took too much effort and wore her out. She didn't get it. She'd just sat at the table, ate her meal and talked to him. It wasn't like they'd been dancing together or anything strenuous. She sighed as she sat there, her head still resting on her arms, staring at the kitchen floor. She was going to end up back in the hospital. She could feel it.

She frowned at that and then choked back a sob. She didn't want to go to the hospital again. She didn't want to create another bill for her parents. She just wanted to be normal, not sick all of the time. Why couldn't she just be a normal person, with normal every day problems? Why did she constantly have to be getting sick? She was such a burden to those around her.

Gen sat there for about a half hour before she finally stood up and slowly headed down the hall and into her bedroom.

She took stock of herself as she walked. She actually felt a bit sleepy, but not as sleepy as she had been earlier. The more minutes ticked by, the less tired she felt, and the more energy she had. It was weird. Maybe she wasn't getting sick after all. Maybe all she'd needed to do was throw herself a pity party, and she'd be okay. She rolled her eyes at herself. She'd mentally thrown pity parties for herself her whole life and none of them had helped her.

She'd rest, and maybe if she dozed off, then so be it. At least she didn't have to worry about feeding herself this evening. Or skipping that meal, which she did more often than not, much to her mother's dismay. She couldn't help herself though. She rarely ever had an appetite. She'd thrown up her meals so many times over the years that she just couldn't always bring herself to eat something she might puke right back up. She hated throwing up. Hated it with a passion.

But she knew she had over eaten that evening. Between the burgers, the fries and the two drinks, she'd had way too much, even though she had only eaten half the burger and maybe a third off the fries. It was the drinks that had filled here up. Even now her stomach ached, unaccustomed to so much food at one time. Maybe she was just feeling unwell from over eating.

Gen stripped off her clothes and pulled on her old night shirt, then crawled into bed. She grabbed her blanket, wrapping it around her body, before she pulled up the other blankets on the bed, making herself feel comfortable. She sort of wasn't tired now, which was weird.

She picked up the novel she was reading and opened it up, eager to get back to the story and glad she'd actually be able to for a bit. Romance novels were her guilty pleasure and had been for the last few years.

The only place Gen would ever get romance was from a book. Growing up the way she had, she'd never had a boyfriend, or even really been around too many men except her father and those at the hospital. The only romance she got was from her book boyfriends.

The first time she'd read a smutty romance novel, she'd been shocked, but it had become her new favorite thing. She'd quickly realized that this was one thing she was going to regret never experiencing. Well, that wasn't true. There were other things, but sex was a major one for her. She'd never get to feel the touch of a man's hands on her body like that. Intimately. She'd never get to have her first kiss.

When Ana had told her about her first serious boyfriend, Gen knew she'd asked way too many questions, but she'd been curious. She wanted to know what it was like to be kissed. She wanted to know what it was like to be touched. She wanted to know what sex was like. Of course, Ana had been vague about that, but she had been the one to bring Gen her first smutty romance novel and Gen had read it more than once.

"Just keep in mind, sex in real life isn't always like that. Fictional men are so much better than the real thing," Ana had told her with a laugh.

Gen had wondered about that, wondering what was different, but didn't ask Ana any more questions, knowing that her sister would only tell her so much. Instead she'd just read all the books she could get her hands on. She got herself an eReader and downloaded books on there. She loved them all, mafia romance, dark romance, fantasy, and anything else she could find. She spent most of her free time lost in a good book enjoying the story and the smut.  

But reading about it, and experiencing it were two different things, and Gen was fairly certain she'd die a virgin. No sex and not even a first kiss. Sometimes that was rather disappointing. The thought of finding some random guy to have sex with her before she died had crossed her mind more than once, but she didn't have the nerve. Plus going out to find someone to hook up with seemed like a lot of work given how weak she was.

She really couldn't imagine herself going into a place and finding a man to have sex with. She'd need a nap before she went in and then another before she had sex. Then she'd probably fall into a coma afterwards from over exerting herself. How embarrassing would that be? She couldn't even imagine that conversation. The guy would probably leave during her second nap.

There should be like a wish granting service for older people who were terminal. Anything you could think of. She'd order herself a hot man. Dark hair, gorgeous eyes, six pack, tall, who could fuck like a pro. His job would be to take her virginity and give her multiple orgasms.

Not that she'd ever make it through multiple orgasms. Or at least she didn't think she would. It would completely exhaust her. She'd probably have to take just one at her gorgeous wish granting man's hands and be happy. Though she supposed beggars couldn't be choosers. At least he would be giving her some pleasure.

Of course, any man would probably take one look at her and run for the hills. She'd have to insist on the lights being out the entire time. It would perhaps help him to perform and her to feel more comfortable. She rolled her eyes. Like that would ever happen.

Gen wasn't under the illusion that she was pretty either. Her face and body were much too thin, her ribs visible through her thin skin. Her pale blue eyes were sunken in and had dark circles under them. Her silvery hair wasn't very long, as she'd had it all fall out more than once over the years. It was dull, and shapeless. She needed a cut. But that was pointless. She never got her hair cut, except when it was time to chop it all off. She always did that as she couldn't stand to watch it fall out. It was too depressing.

Currently it wasn't even shoulder length. It just stuck straight out from her head at weird angles. Her hair had a mind of its own and seemed to rebel when it grew back, doing its own thing and growing in whatever direction it wanted. Gen mostly ignored it. She hated the fact that like her, it was much too thin.

Perhaps when she was dead, they could give her a nice haircut. Or better yet, maybe a wig. She'd probably look better in a coffin than she did now. She hoped they had someone come in and do her hair and her makeup and make her look better in death than she had in life.

Gen smiled to herself. Knowing she was probably going to die soon gave her a morbid sense of humor, one that she had a feeling her family would never understand. That was why she kept that commentary strictly in her own head.