A Life Rewritten

Josh - Funeral for Him

**Five years ago**

Josh sat on a bench, tears in her eyes. She wasn't crying because she was sad, she was crying from joy. Finally, she was going to be able to live her life as herself, and was on the road toward being able to go through with a transition.

She'd worked hard to convince her parents to hold this funeral for the boy she had been, but it had finally paid off. "Josh" was dead, starting today, and  now she would be able to be true to who she was. She had already come up with the perfect name: "Josie".

Josie's family was filling in the pews at the old church, some of them sobbing and blowing their noses with tissues. Josie's uncle Grayson was using the handkerchief that came with his expensive suit. Most of her relatives, surprisingly, had come wearing formal attire, as if Josh was some grand person who had held their family together or some kind of nonsense. Josie thought it was a little silly.

Josie herself was wearing a simple black dress, and had been very careful with how she chose to look and act today. She had to convince everyone that she was, in fact, an out of town cousin of Josh's who had become close to him near the end of his life. She sincerely hoped that nothing would happen to ruin her plan.

Logically, Josie knew that it would have been more conventional to simply come out to her extended family about her identity, and lean on her extra-supportive parents if they ended up not accepting her. However, she was scared of what people would say about her. More than that, Josie was worried about what Danielle would say if she knew her "boyfriend" was still alive.

Danielle. Josie's heart ached when she considered the older girl. She had been such a good friend to Josh, but who could guarantee that she'd care the same way for Josie? It wasn't as if everything would stay the same after she came out. If Danielle was straight, then she wouldn't want to continue going out with her.

No matter what Josie thought, she couldn't seem to foresee a scenario where Danielle still loved her if she discovered the truth.

Soon enough, all of the guests seemed to have arrived. Jake was sitting on the bench right across from her, and Josie scanned his face with an intense longing. Gradually, he noticed her staring, and he gave her a knowing smile. Jake was the only one of her friends whom she had confided in, and it meant everything that he would come to support her today.

In the back, Josie heard sniffling, and knew that more tissues were being used up. Danielle had come in just a few minutes earlier, and she had been near inconsolable after seeing the closed coffin, and the picture of her boyfriend that stood in front of it. Josie's heart ached for Danielle, watching her tears fall, the tissues not helping to keep them at bay.

She turned to the front of the room, however, as her father stood up to give his words, reflecting on the life and loss of his only son. Knowing full well that once he got home he would rejoice in the metamorphosis that had transformed Josh into his daughter.

**One hour later**

As the service finally wrapped itself up, Josie stood and turned toward the exit. Hopefully the funeral would give her family and friends some closure, while she could just forget what had happened today. However, before she could bring herself to leave, Josie felt she had to tie up a loose end for herself.

Danielle sat in the back, her eyes red from weeping, as Jake stood in front of her, offering her his comfort. Josie smiled as she saw Jake doing his best. She knew that this had been hard for him to understand, yet here he was, trying to make everything easier for Danielle to cope with.

Even if she thought she was coping with Josie's death.

"Um," Josie said quietly, "are... are you going to be okay?"

Danielle and Jake both turned their heads, and fell quiet as Josie began to come closer. Jake met Josie's eyes, and his lips tugged upward in the faintest of smiles. He knew what she was trying to do, and he would give her the space she needed.

As Jake departed from them, Josie sat down beside Danielle, who began to cry once more.

"I just... I feel horrible," she whispered. "Josh messaged me the other day saying that he wasn't sure that we'd ever see each other again. I thought he was breaking up with me, that he had decided he didn't want me anymore... If only I had known the truth..."

Josie felt her own eyes begin to get wet, as a tear fell down her cheek. Danielle really had every right to know the truth, to know why Josie had sent that message, but even still... Josie couldn't bring herself to tell the older girl the truth about her boyfriend.

"Danielle, right?" Josie asked her softly, "Josh told me all about you, you know... He always mentioned how much he loved you. He wouldn't want you to be crying today, trust me."

"But what else am I supposed to do?" Danielle sobbed, "the last words I said to him were... so cruel. I didn't deserve his love."

Josie sighed, but she knew that Danielle would eventually feel better. It would be rough, but maybe she could move on from this. Josh hadn't been that great a guy, anyway. Josie was much happier now that she'd shed that disguise, so maybe one day Danielle would feel perfectly okay without Josh in her life.

Even still, it hurt her to see Danielle like this. She leaned towards the older girl, wrapping her arms around her ex-girlfriend. Maybe she could give Danielle some closure without outing herself.

As Danielle hugged back, Josie felt her own tears begin to fall. She was so tired of hiding how she felt, tired of hiding who she was. Maybe she could start again with Danielle, this time with Danielle seeing her not as Josh, but as a new girl with whom she could be friends with.

As they pulled apart from the hug, Josie smiled at Danielle. She leaned in again, and gave her a small kiss. Then she left.

She hoped she wouldn't regret this.