Chapter 21

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21

Paige Hartley

"Paige." She looked like she was seeing a ghost. "What are-? I didn't expect to see you again." She stammered. I'd never seen this woman so nervous, so not composed.

"I figured." I replied, looking around as if the cops could jump on my back at any moment. As if reading my mind, she spoke up.

"The cops were here. They said you were-" She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "You want to come in? I can make some tea?" I nodded, gripping the strap of my bag so tightly, my knuckles turned white.

"I could use that." I agreed, accepting her invitation and entering the house. I looked around. I'd only lived there a couple of weeks before, but everything still felt vaguely familiar. That's why she didn't have to tell me where the kitchen was.

"How- how are you doing?" She stuttered, rushing passed me to heat up some water. I nodded.

"I'm fine." Everything inside of me hurt.

"That's good. I've always wondered." She said, sounding like she wanted to say more, but ending her sentence at the same time.

"How are you?" I asked, thinking it was only fair to return the favour. She nodded, too, vigorously.

"Good, good."

"Are you going to call the cops on me?" I had to know. She jumped a little, startled by my question. The cups in her hands rattled with the movement. She looked nervous, scared. "Relax. I just have to know. I want to be prepared." I explained. She shook her head.

"I blame myself." She sounded a lot calmer now.

"Aunt Loraine-" I tried to interrupt her, but she wouldn't let me.

"I was mean to you because I didn't want to take care of you. I just lost my brother and you were acting so spoiled and you weren't even grieving!" She was trying to justify her actions. "But when you left, I did come looking for you. At first I didn't. I'm ashamed, but I didn't dare tell the cops I lost you. And you were already such a troubled kid, I didn't want them to arrest you and make it worse." I hung on to her words like they were the last life boat of the Titanic, swallowing them with desperate need. Was she really the person I'd been craving for all my life? A caring parental figure?

"Every time I heard someone saw you somewhere, I went there. I'd sit in places for entire days sometimes to see you, but we never did cross paths again." She was so sad about it, and I didn't know whether to believe it or not. What if it was an act, to keep me here a little longer?

"I worked on your room. I figured you were a young adult and you needed some space to yourself, so I decorated the entire attic. I had the place properly isolated, had someone make a larger window so there'd be more light and I bought furniture and paint." She breathed out. "And I thought you'd come back. I waited for months, but it was-" She stopped, sighed, looked at me. I was watching her and listening to her breathlessly.

"Really?" I asked with a barely there voice. She nodded.

"And then the police showed up yesterday, asking me if I'd seen you and they explained you'd been a part of that tragedy at the Holt mansion. I didn't know what to believe. I still don't. What did you do, Paige?"

I opened my mouth to talk. I wanted to explain. Instead I started crying, and I'm talking dramatic I'm-on-my-period crying. Aunt Loraine was suddenly by my side, hugging me to her chest and rubbing my arms, whispering in my ear everything I needed to hear.

For a while I'd had Mrs Boggs. That woman meant more to me than I could say, but I'd always craved real family. The kind you couldn't get rid of, no matter how much you fought or how ugly things got. I clung on to her like a small child, and couldn't find it in me to be embarrassed about it.

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