The Boy Who Bitched

Chapter 21

When Molly was given the go ahead she went absolutely crazy decorating for Yule. Their sitting room had a massive pine tree covered in all sorts of decorations. Some pieces of wood with carvings of different runes, dried fruits that left the place smelling of citrus and hints of cinnamon, little knickknacks, and so many candles that the tree acted as a lamp in the shared sitting room. Harry felt just the smallest pang of guilt towards Molly, but it was quickly alleviated when he remembered that she didn't remember her children. Everything was better this way, he reminded himself.

Sometimes he so desperately wanted to speak about Ron, but he knew that would cause too much unnecessary suffering for the both of them so he did good at keeping his mouth sealed. He did his best at pushing what he now considered his old life down deep, this made coping with all of his loss so much easier. Most days it was easy everything just feeling like a far distant memory, but some days the nostalgia creeped deep into his chest and he longed to see Ron and Hermione at least one more time. Those days he would grip onto Tom just a little harder and bitterly remember them abandoning him in that cursed forest, the crippling expectations that had been forced onto him. Tom would hold onto him just as hard and assure him that everything was alright. That small part of him that yearned for before was growing smaller by the day, and even if he didn't fully love it, he knew soon enough that hole would be completely gone, he hated himself for wishing that day come by soon. His life would be almost perfect, he'd feel almost completely full when that glory filled day came and he could just forget.

It was the night before Yule, both Tom and Harry deep into different books. They were sitting on the deep green velvet couch, the coffee table in front of them covered in an assortment of winter time sweets and two cups of hot chocolate. Harry was sitting up with his painfully swollen feet elevated in Tom's lap. A pair of blue satin pajama pants on and a large cotton grey t-shirt on. All of his shirts had to be magically altered to fit. Just going up to a larger size left his skinny arms and thin frame to he swallowed. Harry wondered if he'd even make it 6 more weeks, his small frame making it where Hadrian could only move outward. He felt like he looked absolutely ridiculous and he was growing more self conscious by the day. Of course the Dark Lord would cover his body head to toe in kisses and practically worship Harry as he brought the young boy to pleasure, telling Harry that he was the most beautiful being that he had ever seen and would drown the young boy in compliments and loving kisses all throughout the day. It made it hard for Harry to ever stay mad at the man for putting him in this predicament.

Tom had his book balanced in one hand, magically moving the pages with unspoken magic, while his other hand was placed under Harry's shirt, Hadrian feeling quite active and nudging Tom's hand quite frequently. He was in the same type of satin pants at Harry, but he had on the matching satin top that was long sleeved. He looked absolutely pristine with not a hair out of place, while Harry looked like he had been hit by a bus. His long curly hair up in a lazy bun and his eye bags deep and prominent. Molly was sitting near the tree, which was located near the lit fireplace making a beautiful wreath. She had a purple nightgown on that made her red hair that was slicked back into a neat bun look so vibrant. She never would have worn her hair like this before everything, Harry assumed it was something the house elves had taught her, either way he didn't mind it she seemed quite content, humming a Christmas tune under her breath.

Harry had never been one for studying but with 6 daunting weeks left it seemed time to try and understand what taking care of a baby was like. Molly tried to assure him that it would all come naturally, but Harry wasn't too sure. At first he had been uncertain about breastfeeding, but after learning about all the benefits Harry was dead set on doing it. This book still filled him with dread as it talked about all the potential issues of breastfeeding such as low supply, thrush, and even mastitis. The young parent had to remind himself just who he was, after all that he had dealt with at Hogwarts parenting had to be a walk in park. The prospect of bringing forth this young life had him brewing with so much anxiety but underneath it all was painstaking joy.