The Boy Who Bitched

Chapter 8

"Harry you have to eat," Tom said getting increasingly irritated. Harry continued to stare right through the man unmoving. It had been 2 long weeks since the miscarriage and Harry's grieving was still stronger than ever.

The first few days he was in complete denial, it took Colette showing him a magical ultrasound for him to realize that everything was real, for it to really sink in. The sobbing that ensued was gut wrenching. All Tom could do was hold the boy, any attempts at comfort were beyond useless, he cried himself while holding the boy.

Harry then moved onto anger. He had went into several fits of rage and destroyed everything in his wake. His own bedroom and the shared one he had with Tom was completely wrecked. Every drawer was on the floor, every knick knack shattered. It had taken the house elves a long time to restore both rooms.

Tom had tried to stop Harry from tearing up the bedrooms, but Harry then started taking his anger out on himself. He started punching himself in the face and ripping his hair out, leaving Tom no choice but to either knock him out or let him be a whirlwind of anger and destruction. Harry had to get these strong feelings out somehow, so he just watched until the boy grew tired and fell asleep in the wreckage he did by his own hands. Tom's personal favorite (though he hated the sight) was Harry sleeping among a wreckage of books. Harry convinced himself that if he got his anger out it would make him feel better, but Tom's horrified face and his own barren stomach, just left him feeling more empty than ever.

The bargaining step was pointless but that didn't stop Harry from trying. The boy was beyond desperate for anything. Tom promised that they would try again in the near future but that for now Harry had to wait, that this time wasn't there time and that was okay. That phrase enraged Harry, he didn't want a new baby or to wait, he wanted bean back and he wanted them back now. He tried to discuss with Tom some sort of resurrection spell, but that was quickly and firmly turned down by the older man. That just sent Harry back into a fit of rage. He started banging his fists on the older man's chest in frustration. He wanted Tom to do something, anything, and he was just refusing. Harry convinced himself that Tom didn't even care about bean, didn't care about him. Why would Tom? Harry had failed and he had made everyone's life difficult but he couldn't bring himself to stop his path of destruction.Tom didn't let the chest smacking go on for long before he grabbed Harry's wrist and gave him a warning glare. Harry knew better than to do that again.

Now Harry had moved onto the depression stage. He had been nothing more than a brick wall for a week. Tom was at his wits end, somehow he thought he preferred angry Harry over this. Angry Harry would at least talk, depressed Harry just stared at the wall and laid in bed all day. Tom wanted to shake Harry out of it, make him get up, but he knew that would just push Harry farther away. So for now Tom tried forcing bites of chicken into the boys mouth with no luck. Harry hadn't eaten in 3 days, his only form of sustenance was the nutrition potions he had forced down the boy's throat. This would only last so long before more drastic measures needed to be taken.

Tom sighed and put the food away," Harry you haven't bathed in days I am going to bathe you now."

Tom had attempted bathing Harry for the past 7 days, but every time the boy would burst into tears and wrap the blankets tightly around himself. However, enough was enough Harry was starting to reek and Tom was going to have to be firm no matter how upset the boy got. This time though the boy didn't start crying he just continued staring at the wall. Tom lifted him up, the boy went completely limp in his arms. Tom sat him down on the toilet, surprised the boy was managing to hold himself up. He then started running a bath, adding in some bath salts and nice smelling bubbles. He undressed Harry, the boy doing nothing to protest. He had stopped his empty staring and had managed to make eye contact with Tom, watching him with great focus. Tom quickly noticed but didn't make a big show of it, just trying to remain calm and casual. "Would you like me to sit in the tub with you?"

It took a moment for the question to really hit the boy, but eventually he was nodding his head yes. Tom went ahead and placed Harry in the warm tub, before taking his clothes off and joining him. Sitting behind the boy and allowing his head to fall back onto his chest. Tom let them stay like that for a while, grateful that Harry was reaching towards him for comfort. Harry was the one to break the silence. "Tom, can we give bean a memorial?" his voice came out cracked and quiet.

"What were you thinking?" he asked gently, no hint of anything in his voice.

The question Harry had been dreading, his whole body tensing up as he asked ," You know that apple tree outside my window, I want to plant a type of pole bean near there. That garden was one of the first things that brought me comfort here and I believe it will bring me comfort in this as well."

Tom was surprised by the request, he and Harry had never actually visited that garden and Harry had never asked. However Harry was just now getting to a place where he felt like he could ask Tom things. Tom was more than happy to help the boy, especially if that would help him in the grieving process. "I think that's a lovely idea," he told the boy gently.

The boys entire body relaxed and he fell into Tom. "I wanna raise it from a seedling, we can germinate it together and it can grow like how our bean was supposed to," his voice started quivering towards the end," Oh Tom I feel like I have failed," he 360ed around the roomy tub and fell into Tom's arms. "The only thing you expected of me was to carry bean and I failed."

"Harry you didn't fail, what happened isn't your fault and I need you to understand that. Your worth is so much more than your ability to carry my child." Tom took a deep breath, he knew being nervous about being vulnerable around Harry was futile but he struggled with letting his guard down. He knew Harry loved him for him and not for what Harry could get from him, so he mustered up the confidence to tell the boy how he really felt. "Harry, I really love you. My world rises and sets with you in it. For the first time in my life I feel whole. I don't need a kid, but I need you, Harry you complete me in ways I never thought possible. We will have a baby when it's our time but now wasn't it," he paused taking a deep breath," I wanna do this right Harry. I want to officially make you my consort, I want to marry you, I want you to be by my side as I rule over the wizarding world. I want to raise a family with you, I want to grow old with you. I don't need immortality when I have you. I didn't think I was capable of happiness but you have surprised me my love."

Harry laid there shocked, he wasn't expecting this. Tom really loved him, Tom wanted him. After everything Harry had put him through with the miscarriage and the aggressive grieving Tom still chose him. Words failed him, he couldn't of mustered anything even if he had to, but he was able to make himself cling to Tom tighter, Tom understanding the meaning and pulling the boy close in a slippery hug. That sat there for a while, until the bath water got cold.

Tom apprehensively moved Harry away, and drained the bath tub. He quietly started the shower and cleaned the boy meticulously. The young boy holding onto him for dear life. Harry was weak and just standing there was taking a toll on him. Tom helped him put some warm jammies on and Harry finally allowed himself to eat. Tom was so grateful, today was the beginning of a new tomorrow, they were both going to be okay.