Serpent scars

Chapter 1

Deep breaths, deep breaths, Siobhan kept repeating to herself. Her mascara smudged by salty tears running down her rosy cheeks. The temptation to smash her head into the steering wheel stood in front of her was tempting. Somehow she managed to contain herself, she didn't feel much, just pain. The pain of her throbbing arms, the pain of the ache in her head. She didn't have much time left to spare before Roger would start invading her phone with messages, but it was okay, she didn't have anyone else to text anyway. She accepted defeat and turned on the engine, her foot reached for the peddle and she drove home.

Once she had arrived back to the house she shared with Roger, he was already waiting for her upon arrival.

"Where the fuck have you been, Siobhan!" He yells with pure anger painted across his face.

"N-nothing." Explained Siobhan, trying to pry the words out of herself. She was frightened, her words weren't coming out. Her mind was far too foggy to even try and focus on saying the correct answers. She tried to make herself view her life as a game, certain actions led to certain emotions: pain, sadness, happiness, etc. It made life more bearable.

"What the fuck do you mean, Siobhan! Nothing isn't an answer!" Said the man, gripping his fiancé by the wrist tightly. The need to be in control of others was a reoccurring thought in Roger's corrupted mind.  

"T-t-traffic, Roger." Said the woman through shaky whispers. Tears began violently streaming from the woman's face. It was clear that despite her best efforts her emotions could not be contained. As Roger began to raise his fist at her, what started out as fear, then transformed into sadness, had now become anger. "OH LEAVE ME ALONE, ROGER!" The woman yelled storming off into the bathroom, being sure to lock the door behind her.

She knelt down onto the hard marble floor, her head in her hands, and sobbed. Letting it all out, standing up to her abuser, the assaults, the manipulation, the abuse, the fights, the pain. It all came flooding out like a waterfall. She didn't even want to think about the consequences of her actions, she just needed to focus on getting out of this moment. She needed to escape her mind. Siobhan knew she shouldn't be left alone in this state, but no one cared. She sat there crying, rocking, screaming, like a little kid again. She hated her life, she hated herself too. Her mascara was smudged beneath her eyes like halloween makeup.

After a few hours of evaluating her life and releasing her emotions, she eventually gave up and laid there lifeless. Trying to think of anything other then her life, it was too scary. She then heard a knock on the locked door. Her body immediately lifted herself up to lean on the sink so she didn't collapse from exhaustion. "Siobhan, I'm sorry. Can I come in please?" Siobhan being so naive, couldn't help but begin to feel safer. She heard the Roger she had fell in love with years ago. Once he stepped inside the cold room, Siobhan ran to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He then proceeded to carry her onto the sofa, where she sat sobbing into his chest. Her mask would slip whenever Roger showed her the slightest ounce of affection. This was one of the ways he was able to manipulate the vulnerable woman.

One thing you have to understand about Siobhan is that she was never shown this love as a child. This does many things to a sensitive, developing being. It made her a target for men like Roger, she pounced at the chance to be shown love. Siobhan was also taught to find money in men, this did her no favours in life either. She had found that every millionaire had become rich because that's what they dedicated their life towards, i.e., it's all they cared about. All of them used Siobhan as some sort of pet to them, the values of being a decent human being didn't apply to them.

Siobhan then was dumped once again, she never had the courage to leave her abusive partners. Somehow with no work experience she managed to rebuild her life again. One day she had been sitting down in a coffee shop working remotely, when an older, rich man approached her. Surprise, surprise. That person had been Roger. He eventually offered her a job at his nursery, then she graduated into being his girlfriend, then fiancé. Roger truly had her wrapped around his finger.

After around half an hour of Siobhan sobbing in Roger's arms, she had manged to get control of herself again. The ice queen's frost had melted. "What's wrong, baby?" Asked Roger patting her on the back softly. Siobhan wiped her tears and sat up right upon his lap. "I'm sorry." She replied through sniffles. For some reason she felt guilty for making a 'fuss'. Her mind was still processing how docile Roger had been acting towards her, she adored the nickname 'baby'. Maybe she felt like a child again but finally being protected. Either way it was better then Roger's mummy kink. It infuriated her when a parent called Stephen made fun of her for it. 'He had no right to say that.' She thought to herself but then quickly remembered how judgmental she had been over him being gay.

"It's all alright." Roger said smiling at her adoringly. "No it's not, I've been so sensitive and ungrateful recently, I'm so sorry." She cried, nuzzling her face into his chest further. Deep down she knew it wasn't her fault, she knew he was in the wrong for this foul treatment. But she couldn't help but believed she deserved it. He began to chuckle slightly, his laugh making Siobhan smile, as long as he was happy she would be okay. She was so wrong. "Well, there is one thing you could do to make it up to me." He explained with a smirk. "Anything!" Siobhan pleaded. After all, the man had given her everything she had ever dreamed of: designer handbags, dream cars, a mega mansion to live in, fancy vacations, expensive jewellery and so much more. "We could make a baby?" Her face went white as if she had seen a ghost, her heart rate increased rapidly. 'I don't want a baby!' 'I could never love it knowing it's his!' 'How would I protect it?' These thoughts were all consuming her mind, whilst Roger rambled on about replacing his other two disappointments.

"Earth to Siobhan!" He said waving his hands in front of her face. She shook it off and replied. "Um, sorry. I-I don't really want a baby, Roger." She sounded deflated, looking down at the floor like a kid who had just dropped their ice cream. Roger was far from pleased with this answer, he wasn't going to let a women say no to him. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO? THE WHOLE REASON YOU WERE BROUGHT ONTO THIS EARTH WAS TO SERVE FOR ME, YOU WILL GIVE ME AN HEIR MORE USEFUL THEN MY OTHER TWO AND YOU WILL OBEY ME! IS THAT CLEAR, SIOBHAN?! He yelled with a face full of rage. She began crying again, her body so tired. Roger was now standing above her yelling. "IS THAT CLEAR, SIOBHAN!" He restated. "Yes." Siobhan cried, blinking away tears as she nodded. "Good." He said letting himself fall onto the sofa. "We will try tomorrow. And don't worry, you'll love the baby once it's here. It will be good for you, give you something to do, a purpose." He said leaning into her placing a kiss on her forehead, he then made his way to bed.

Sleep wouldn't come easy that night, what was she going to do. Maybe she could cause herself a miscarriage, throw herself down some stairs or something. She knew she couldn't look after this baby, it wasn't even there yet but it was consuming her thoughts. There was nothing she could do to stop Roger from impregnating her and she knew it all too well. A deep, heavy pit had sunk to the bottom of her chest, containing mixtures of anxiety, fear and anger. What were all the nursery staff going to think, especially Autumn and Reece. Those were the names of Roger's other two children. She decided to pull herself off the velvet coated couch and drown her sorrows in alcohol, knowing soon this escape hole would be sealed shut. She decided on a glass of gin and tonic, she was fond of the bitterness, that summed her up as a person. But her favourite was red wine.

She drunk until she couldn't feel and eventually crashed on the sofa.