The next morning had arrived after a night of cosy cuddling with Viv in bed. We watched a rom-com and sheltered our bodies from the autumn breeze with a couple layers of fuzzy blankets. I was in the passenger seat of the car waiting for Viv to return with Jamie, I still can't stand to be in the budling, but I'll keep the smile plastered on my face. Fake it till you make it. I decide to distract myself by scrolling online on my phone, only to find a post of Janice on a beach with Roger on instagram. My heart sinks into a dark pit inside my stomach. Dam, he really had just replaced me like that. I switch off my phone and take a few deep breaths that me and Viv had practiced before hand. Memories of my mother trying to use the same breathing techniques with me flashed through my mind.
Thankfully it didn't take too long before I was greeted by Jamie and Viv. "Hello Bon Bon." He said shyly. "Hello Jamie." I replied looking at him from the passenger seat window. Viv chuckled at the interaction. He had obviously caught onto his mother's nickname for her lover and thought it was funny. "Mummy, why is she here." He asks tugging at Viv's shirt. "Siobhan's going to be staying with us from now on." She replies before lifting her gaze to smile at me. I smile back feeling the warmth of Viv's loving eyes beaming at me. "YAY!" He squealed in excitement. I had only worked with Jamie a few times in the room, using every opportunity I had to try and bond with him. For some reason he had taken a liking to me, and I have taken a liking to him too. I'm probably bias because Viv is my girlfriend, but I don't particularly like kids, therefore befriending Jamie was unexpected. The whole car ride home he tells stories from his day at nursery whislt using his hands to express his emotions. He's like a little ball of energy who explodes whenever he feel safe.
Once home Viv tells Jamie the plan. "Me and Bon Bon thought it would be fun to go on a holding" Said Viv holding her little man's hand. "YIPPPIE!" He shouts racing to pack his toys. Me and Viv chuckle before she pull me in for a quick kiss. I love the saftey soothing me as her hands stay placed aorund my waist. "I love you." I say, and I mean it to. "I love you more" She says goign to kiss me playfully. "Mummy and Bon Bon!" Shouts Jamie running into Viv's arms. "Yes J." She replies.. "I'm readyyyy!" He squeals, squirming in her arms. She lets him go and we hop in the car once more with all our belongings.
The drive is only an hour and we make a road stop to a petrol station on the way to collect a quick snack. Jamie watches his favourite show on his iPad placed in front of him. He starts humming and singing along to the tunes enthusiastically and I can't help but let a massive grin escape. The small townhouse we arrive at kind of reminds me of the one me and Roger had been to, I shake the feeling off and power through. I can keep it together if I try hard enough, it's silly anyway. I wait on the sofa with my lips pressed tightly together. "What you thinking Bon Bon?" I was so lost in thought I hadn't even notice Viv come back from putting Jamie down from a nap. "Um, nothing, I'm fine." I say. "Okayyy, if that's what you say." She teases and I roll my eyes playfully. I pull her arm to place her body next to mine. I huddle up to her and kiss her lips. She pulls away and asks me a question. "Want to go out for dinner Bon, you don't have to though." In all honestly I probably shouldn't push myself, it had been a long day full of triggers. But, I agree. "Dinner sounds lovely Viv." I reply pulling her back in to resume our kiss.
In the evening she puts on a navy blue suit and I, well, don't really have any of my clothes. The truth is it's been complete radio silence from Roger since the wedding. And hell I'm not gonna contact him. Therefore I have been wearing Viv's clothes, particularly her signature blouse. I manage to put together an outfit consisting of a long black mermaid styled dress and black heels. I wore a pearl necklace around my neck and did a half up hair down hair style. Maybe this was too fancy... Before I change Viv comes in to reassure telling me how beautiful I look. I blush at the comments and we find Jamie playing in his room. Viv dressed the little man in his pyjamas, not caring what others thought and only thinking of his comfort. "Viv, I'm not sure he can just wear pyjamas." I imply. "I suppose not." She says dramatically making Jamie laugh. She covers the piece of clothing up with a coat. "There we are little man." She says kissing his head before lifting him into her arms.
We take a fifteen minute stroll alongside a lake to make the most of the scenery. I spot ducks peacefully floating along on the rhythm of the water. We all connect hands with Jamie in between us. When we arrive I noticed the bright lights, the hospital is what I think about. The day I was told that my baby was gone. Would Jamie ever see me as his mum. I shake away the thought before anyone noticed I had gone off to space again. A waiter shortly shows us to our seats and I take a glance of the menu. Me and Viv share a three course meal and we settle Jamie with a plate of chicken nuggets and veggies.
AN: Will fix spelling mistakes tomorrow lol
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Serpent scars
FanficA shivian story featuring Siobhan's life with Roger. TW: Violence, domestic abuse, emetophobia, drug uses, SA, homophobia, miscarriage along other things. Chapter everyday :) Est 4pm-6pm
