DESPERATE & DIVINE

25. Homecoming

I wake up early on the morning of Leah's return game, clinging to her in bed as she sleeps. She's been handling everything with her usual grace, but I know how much today means to her, how emotional it is beneath the surface. I feel like I could burst into tears myself at any moment just thinking about it, but instead, I push it down and hold her close, my fingers tracing gentle patterns on her arm, hoping to give her whatever comfort I can.

Quietly, I slip out of bed to make her some breakfast. I'm anxious for her—so anxious that it feels like my skin is too tight, like every breath is a little too shallow. I don't want her to know, though. She's got enough on her plate today, and the last thing I want is to add to her stress. But I can't help it. My own anxious thoughts swirl, creeping up from that place deep inside me where I've locked away so much.

It's all building up, and I know now isn't the right time to bring it up. It's the worst time, actually. But god, I've been feeling it—the weight of everything I haven't told her. The nightmares are becoming more frequent, panic attacks brewing under the surface like storm clouds waiting to burst. And the irony is, being with Leah makes it better. Being around her soothes the jagged edges. Right now, as I move around her kitchen, preparing something simple to start her day, my heart swells with how right it all feels.

Despite everything, there's a joy here—a contentment that settles deep in my bones. I feel comfortable in her home, like this is where I'm meant to be. What's between us feels so natural, so right, like it always should have been. And something clicks within me, this quiet certainty that I'm with my person now. My body and mind seem to know it, even when the rest of me is still catching up. The love and the hurt blend together, making everything sharper, more real.

I can't stop the fear from creeping in today, but I'm going to be there for her, just like she's been there for me. One step at a time. One moment at a time.

"You are such a sweetheart," Leah practically accuses as she joins me in the kitchen. I fall in love all over again at the sight of her slightly messy hair and fluffy dressing gown. She looks so soft and familiar, like home, and when she walks over to place a sweet kiss on my lips, I can't help but cup her face, holding her there for a few more, stealing seconds like they're precious.

"I think you deserve this treatment, especially on such a big day," I say with a playful smirk, nudging her toward the breakfast stools. "I also think I've given your kitchen more love and attention in a few weeks than you have the entire time you've lived here."

Leah laughs, and the sound fills the room, bright and infectious. My heart swells, soaking in the sight of her crinkly-eyed smile, the kind that makes everything else fade away.

"I think you're just making my house into a home," she says softly, her words laced with affection. And I can feel the blush creeping up my neck as I start buttering her toast, pretending not to notice how easily she gets to me.

Her voice takes on a lighter, almost playful tone as she adds, "It also helps that you look good here, like... maybe you should be here all the time." There's a twinkle in her eye, her fingertips drumming casually on the countertop, but her words are loaded with something deeper.

I catch her meaning immediately, and my heart skips a beat. I place her orange juice in front of her, leaning in for another quick kiss before pulling back just enough to whisper, "I wouldn't be opposed to that."

Her eyes brighten, and for a moment, we just stand there, caught in the possibility of everything we could have together.

~

I try my best not to coddle her. On the bus journey down, I just let her take it all in at her own pace, even though I can see the depth of emotion behind her eyes. It's a big moment, one she's worked incredibly hard for, but I know she's ready. In the changing room, before I head out onto the pitch and she takes her place on the bench, I press a gentle kiss to her cheek when no one's looking and give her hand a squeeze. I don't say anything, because I don't need to. It's enough when her mouth curves into a small smile and she squeezes my hand back.