DESPERATE & DIVINE

27. There's No Place Like Home : Part 1

The days following the session feel strange, unsettling in a way I can't quite put into words. There are things I've buried so deep that even now, they're hard to face. But no matter how much I try to suppress them, they keep surfacing, forcing me to confront what I've been avoiding for so long. When I'm alone—which isn't often anymore—I find myself diving down rabbit holes online. I read article after article on consent, coercion, and everything in between, trying to make sense of it. The more I learn, the clearer one truth becomes: I think what happened to me wasn't entirely my fault. I just need to rewire my brain into believing it.

And for the first time in months, I don't feel completely to blame.

I don't feel completely alone either.

Leah's been quietly watchful, her presence a constant source of comfort. She doesn't push me to talk, doesn't hover, but she's there—always there—in the ways I need her most. It's a subtle, unwavering kind of support, the kind that only comes from someone who truly knows you inside and out.

I catch myself thinking, more often than I'd like to admit, that I don't know what I'd do without her. It scares me how much I need her, how much she's become my anchor. And as the trip to Manchester approaches, I can feel a nervous excitement building. It's a step forward, a big one, but it's one I wouldn't dream of taking without her by my side.

~

I let out a low whistle as Leah slips into the passenger seat, her radiant smile lighting up the car as she leans across the console to plant a quick kiss on my lips.

"Wow, you look... incredible," I say, a little breathless as she pulls back. My eyes linger on her cream linen suit, tailored to perfection, and that waistcoat—God, she looks so good that I can't resist grabbing her face to pull her in for another kiss. She giggles, playfully pushing me away, and when I finally break the kiss, I can't help but grin like a fool. "Did you pack everything?"

"Yep!" she chirps, excitement sparking in her eyes as she buckles her seatbelt. "It's just one night, so I packed light," she says with a cheeky smile. As I start the engine, her hand slips comfortably onto my thigh. "I didn't bring any sex toys, by the way," she jokes lowly, and I don't even have to look to know there's a smirk on her face. "I'm not sure how your parents would feel about all that noise you make, and I do want to make a good impression."

My eyes widen, and I feel a warm throb deep in my core as her hands sneak around to my inner thigh. Stealing a glance at her as I pull onto the main road, I chuckle, "You're definitely in heat, aren't you?"

"Blame yourself," she sighs dramatically, her fingers toying with the seam of my jeans. "If you weren't so good in bed, maybe I'd have some self-control."

"Who says I want you to have self-control?" I tease back, feeling her hand give my thigh a firm squeeze. "And you know, you don't need to try and impress my parents—they already adore you."

There's a quiet moment, and when I glance over, she's looking at me with that soft, knowing smile that makes my heart race. "Yeah, but... it feels different this time, doesn't it?"

I bite my lip, shyly returning her smile, feeling that familiar warmth settle between us. "Yeah," I admit softly. "It really does."

~

"You okay?" I ask in a playful tone when the car suddenly fills with silence. There's a hint of suspicion in my voice, and I add teasingly, "I warned you that belting out tunes for half the drive would wear you out."

I sneak a quick glance her way, and my heart melts at the sight of her—a soft, loving smile on her lips, her eyes glowing with tenderness.

"You used to do this drive all the time for me," she says, her voice turning serious, like a memory has hit her all at once. "Sometimes twice a day, there and back."