DESPERATE & DIVINE

15. Twin Flame

In the New Year, we head straight to Luton airport to catch our flight for warm weather training in Portugal. I say "warm weather" with a touch of irony, because when we land, I still need to keep my hoodie and jacket on.

Over Christmas, Leah and I barely exchanged any words, and it drove me a little stir-crazy. The only silver lining? She liked a few of my Instagram stories, and embarrassingly, those were my best days. She's been quiet on her end, not posting much, but that doesn't stop me from checking obsessively. The highlight of my break came when I noticed that she and Zara no longer followed each other on Instagram.

Small victories.

Even though we aren't sitting near each other on the flight, our eyes find each other constantly—at check-in, walking through the airport, grabbing a coffee before boarding, and even on the plane, passing each other on the way to the toilet. Every time our gazes lock, we hold eye contact, smiling shyly like we're sharing some kind of secret.

On the bus ride to the hotel, she insists on helping me put my bag in the overhead compartment. I had planned to sit with Lotte and Less like on the plane, but Leah steers me to the seat beside her, almost without asking.

"Alright?" I ask as I settle in next to her, the hum of excited chatter from the team filling the air.

"I'm good, yeah," she says softly, flashing that familiar smile that crinkles her eyes in a way that makes my heart do a little flip. "You?"

"I am now," I reply, and there's something unspoken between us—a warmth that feels easier than it has in a long time. Leah acts somewhat shy, but there's less of a wall around her now, and it makes my chest feel light.

Even when Beth and Steph wander down the aisle to drag us into a conversation, it feels easy. We chat about our Christmases like we've never had a falling out, like everything between us is new again.

It feels like a fresh start, and this time, I'm determined not to mess it up.

~

The first few days are a dream. The energy in the camp is contagious—everyone's in a good mood, and even though it's not blistering hot, there's something magical about spending sunny afternoons playing volleyball on the beach.

Things with Leah? Better than good. Even when we're in a group, we naturally gravitate toward each other, slipping back into our easy banter like we never skipped a beat. It feels like I can finally breathe again, like the heavy cloud that's been hanging over me has lifted. And I can tell Leah notices it too.

We haven't had a chance to be alone and talk, but I can feel it coming. There's a new ease between us, like we've shaken off whatever awkwardness was hanging in the air before. Every shared glance, every smile makes me feel like we're building toward something. It's subtle, but it's there—a quiet, steady buzz that fills me with hope, like we're finally on the same page, moving toward a conversation that's long overdue. I can't stop wondering what'll happen when we finally get that moment.

During our mini volleyball matches, when we're on the same team, Leah laughs uncontrollably at my over-the-top, borderline ridiculous attempts to keep the ball in play—most of which result in me face down in the sand.

"Are you trying to impress me, or are you genuinely that insane when playing volleyball?" she teases, her eyes twinkling as she helps swipe the sand off the back of my t-shirt.

I can't help but flash her a grin, shrugging. "I've never played before, so definitely option one. Is it working?"

She tries to hide her smile, but I catch it as her hand lingers a moment too long on my back before sliding away.