DESPERATE & DIVINE

2. Delicate, Like a Bomb

I planned for this departure to be swift, as cowardly as it may seem. The process has been hectic since the move was finalised and made public, leaving little time for me to even tell my family before word spread. Facing their questions is difficult, especially seeing my Mum's pained and confused expression when I revealed my decision to move. I didn't have expectations from my teammates (ex-teammates) but I never anticipated being confronted while clearing out my locker.

A lot of them hang back, already shocked that my locker is being cleared out, but Chloe, Alex, and Hempo are spearheading the questions, needing the answers desperately.

"What's going on? Are you really leaving?" Chloe demands, her eyes wide with disbelief as she leans against the lockers, arms crossed.

"Mate I'm just fucking hurt," Alex chimes in, clearly anxious to know more. "We just saw you a few days ago, and now you're packing up? What happened?"

I take a deep breath, trying to steady the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me. "I got an opportunity... a chance to move on," I lie as best as I can, keeping my voice steady. "I'm so sorry how fast it was, I didn't — I never wanted it to be like this."

Hempo shakes her head in disbelief. "But you can't just leave! We're a team! What about all the plans we made for next season?"

"Frankie, what the fuck is happening?" Chloe's voice cuts through the air, frustrated and hurt. "I thought it was all a joke!"

As I pack the last of my belongings, I draw in a deep breath. Meeting Alex's tear-filled gaze, I feel a wave of shame wash over me.

"I'm sorry, girls," I manage to say, my own words foreign to my ears. "I really am sorry."

"Why?" Alex's voice is laced with hurt. "We spent two months together in Australia, and you never mentioned leaving. I knew something was off with you, you completely shut down."

"At least now we know why you've been so quiet," Chloe interjects, her anger evident. "I never thought you would betray us like this."

"I'm sorry, I just—" I begin, but the words falter as I'm met with a sea of hurt and confusion in their eyes. Unable to reveal the truth, I bear the weight of their disappointment. "I just need to move on now."

Chloe shakes her head in disbelief, and behind her, Hempo looks on the brink of tears.

"I love you all," I manage to say, my voice quivering with emotion as I look at each one of my teammates. "I know it may not seem like it, but I really do."

"No, you don't," Hempo's voice breaks through, a mix of anger and sadness evident. "You wouldn't have done it this way if you did."

I watch helplessly as Hempo storms out of the locker room, followed by some of the other girls, their goodbyes laced with bitterness.

Chloe and Alex remain, their gazes filled with a mix of disappointment and uncertainty.

"I understand that you're going through something, Jags, but it's hard for me to see reason right now," Chloe interjects, her voice tinged with apprehension as she watches me closely. "You, of all people! You've always been so dedicated and passionate about this team... or so I thought. I guess I don't really know who you are anymore."

"I'm still the same person, Chlo," I reply weakly, though deep down, I know she's right. The old me would never have considered leaving to play for a rival team in London. The weight of the bag on my shoulder feels heavier than it should as I prepare to leave. I glance between Alex, who's angrily wiping away tears, and Chloe, who looks resigned and disappointed. "I'm sorry."