Backrooms Shit posts until I actually start rewriting that one story thing

Blanche goes to McDonald's the sequel I think?? But it's Keymaster

Hey y’all,,,, we are back

With a terrible sequel to Blanche goes to McDonald's- kind of??

You’re welcome. 😻

+++

Our favorite main character, The Kaywhyessmaster before he was the Kaywhyessmaster (if anyone says he isn't their favorite, they’re a fucking liar), was on his way back from his 7282672nd trip from McDonald's for the 7282672 times today, and all he fucking got was sauce packets.

Again.

Anyway, let's skip all the extra stuff where I gotta describe a whole lotta nothing. He sees a poster with an ugly fucking picture of him from like 2 years ago. He stares at it like “Ew wtf 😭" and reads the chicken scratch writing on the rest of the paper.

It literally said: I lost this fucking idiot, Keymaster (Kaywhyessmaster). He thinks he’s smart by sending me a video of him fucking dying from a grimace shake. But as I just said, he’s a fucking idiot. So now I’m trying to find his dumbass before he decides he wants a different universe to waste the oxygen in. Call 818-555-7262 if you see this overcooked fucking potato that you meat sacks call Keymaster (Kaywhyessmaster) (wow, real creative.). Signed, Kei’.

First of all, obviously bc Kei’ doesn't have any hands, ofc their handwriting looks like they used their fucking TOES TO WRITE THAT SHIT-

fuck, never mind. PLEASE, NOBODY DRAW THAT; WE DON'T NEED WHAT HAPPENED TO GAMEMASTER TO HAPPEN TO FUCKING K E I ‘ . . .

anyway

Second of all, why did they have to pick the worst picture of him?? That's just downright cruel.

Third of all, AWE MAN NOW WE GOTTA LEAVE. AND THE SAUCE IN THIS TIMELINES’ MCDONALD'S WAS SOOOOO GOOD. 😭😭😭😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💔💔💔💔💔

SIGH. Anyway, he runs back to the McDonald's like the fucking Flash in the one new movie, and his Nike’s literally screech as they slide off the ground every time he picks up his foot

Or something

Idk how to explain these kinds of things, they just happen

He kicks the door down and fills his pockets to the brim with sauce packets, guzzles down some Sprite with a water cup, and trips (somehow) over 3 tables as he runs out. The whole McDonald's explodes as he runs out and starts /e dancing so he can clip into smth, but then he remembers he’s literally the God of Access, so he pulls out a random Key and beats the air with it cutely.

He then faded into existence in the middle sorts and he’s like “HeY bEsT FrIeNdS,, 🤪🤪🤪🤪" and whoever just so happened to be at the front counter had to deal with his ass for the 5th time today. He then was like “New Timeline. Now. 😡” and they were like "Bruh 😭” and starts click-clacking on the computer with their ginormous fucking acrylic nails.

“Ok buddy,,,, I found one where you actually get bitches” they announce and Kaywhyessmaster screeches a bunch of brain rot like “Holy buttcheek on a stick, chat!1!1!1! Is this W rizz?!1?1?1?!1?1?1?1” and the guy at the front just stares at him with utter disgust and says “Yeah, ok, bye. You can leave now, get out.” and then he struts out like a character on dress to impress or smth idk.

That concludes the TOTALLY CANON (it's not) prologue to Sins of the Father guys, trust. /j